A special, urgent message from Wilson:

Wilson has heard that a Canadian mining company, Infinito Gold, is mounting a $1 Billion lawsuit to force Costa Rica to allow them to create an open-pit gold mine, which would destroy 190 hectares of pristine rain-forest.
Costa Rica is Wilson's homeland, and he feels very strongly about this, so he is asking you to read about this threat to endangered species and to the rain-forest, and sign this petition: 
http://tinyurl.com/mbhl7br

Free Gift for Xmas!

Here, as promised, is Wilson's set of gift tags to print, cut-out and use — he says that it is his Xmas Gift to all his on-line friends, and will help them remember him when they are doing their Xmas wrapping!

With regard to W's Xmas present, I've done a bit of research on the Noma restaurant, and it's not looking so good: 

     Meals cost £390  per head; 

     There doesn't seem to be a vegetarian option; 

     The waiting time for reservations is four-months; 

     Earlier this year, 63 Noma diners were struck down with food poisoning.

But it has given me an idea! I'll say nothing else until I've looked into it, but I think W would love it! 

A meal at Noma

To pass the time while waiting for Boris' reply, Wilson has been making some Xmas gift tags. He says they'll be finished by tonight and you can all have a sheet of them tomorrow.

I've been reading about the Noma restaurant in Copenhagen. The thing is that they serve live ants! They're famous for it, apparently. Or notorious.

Anyway, Wilson is very fond of fine dining, and I wondered whether he would like a meal there for his Xmas present. Also, I've always wanted to visit Denmark!

I'll do a bit of research and see about making a reservation for the two of us, and see how much flights would cost!

Wilson replies to the Mayor

So, here is the letter Wilson has sent to Boris Johnson. He's pinning a lot of hopes on a favourable reply from the Mayor's Office, but I am not optimistic.

As for Xmas, one of Wilson's friends, Rhonda, suggested that he might like some 'Cuddle Duds.' Apparently these are like Long Johns for ladies, which would certainly keep him warm, but I'm not certain just coldness is his problem. I think what's getting him down is the constant greyness, dampness and general joylessness of the English winter.

Maybe he'd like an SAD lightbox? They are supposed to be very effective at cheering people up during the dark months.

Wilson crafts a reply to the Mayor

Wilson has written his reply to Boris, outlining how he proposes to tackle the Capital's Dog-Fouling Problem. 

I don't know what the Mayor will make of it, but I think I can predict his reaction to the price.

W has been complaining about the weather for weeks now, so I wonder whether he'd like a scarf for Xmas? What do you think? Any suggestions would be welcome!

Winter Wonderland

I really don't know what to get Wilson for Xmas! 

Hoping for some ideas, I asked him when he would be writing his letter to Father Xmas, and he told me he'd written and posted it last week. When I enquired what he'd asked for, he said that was between him and Father Xmas, so no clues to be had there.

W asked whether we could go to the Blackstock Farm Winter Wonderland near Hailsham; I agreed, and we spent a lovely afternoon there! Wilson went through the huge Xmas Tunnel to see Father Xmas, and half way round was given a mince pie by an elf — I think that made his day!

Afterwards we had a look at all the animals, then something to eat in the restaurant. 

CHECK THIS OUT! 

November has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the latest monthly volumes of Ant Wars II: October AND November 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as a visit from Father Xmas."

You can download them or read them online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_october_2013

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_november_2013

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon

Original photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

The postman always rings twice

This morning, at long last, Wilson received the letter for which he has been waiting so expectantly — a reply from Boris Johnson (or as W describes him, 'Mister Boris, Lord Mayor of London Town').

W read and re-read it several times before passing it to me. He is now deep in thought considering his reply.

I must say Boris does sound quite enthusiastic about W's plan… although he doesn't yet know what that plan is.

Nor how much it will cost.

The Spirit of Christmas Presents...

Wilson and I went out and did a bit of Xmas shopping yesterday. Once he'd seen all the street lights and the decorations in the shops, he started to get well into the Xmas Spirit!

I'll take him to see Father Xmas soon… and I'd better give some thought to what to buy him for Xmas...

One of our Letters is Missing!

Still no recurrence of the 'reality' issue, but Wilson is getting increasingly concerned that he has not heard from Boris Johnson. 

He told me that a million letters go missing every week, and he is afraid that this potentially life-changing missive could be one of them. 

Even as I write this, he is on the phone to the Missing Letters Department of the Post Office.

Business opportunity!

Wilson and I had breakfast without any mention of 'reality' or 'source code' or any of the issues that have been troubling him recently. All such thoughts have apparently been displaced by another of his 'brilliant ideas,' which he explained to me over coffee.

'Unless I've got this wrong,' he started, 'the country is having a bit of a rough patch, financially. Am I right?'

I nodded.

'So people who are feeling the pinch disposable income-wise just don't have the cash to splash on things which they may, quite wrongly, see as luxuries.'

'I suppose so,' I conceded.

'So, the solution is clear: I shall start a hire service for ODDSIES! where people can rent a pair for a few days! I shall look for suitable premises in Uckfield to be the headquarters of my hiring empire!'

I'm not so sure this would be as popular as W thinks. Hiring socks seems a strange concept to me… but if it stops him worrying about whether or not he is 'real' I don't want to discourage him in any way! 

I think I'll try to steer him towards running this as an on-line enterprise for the time being, though, rather than splashing out on rent. 

Films aren't real. Usually.

Today I have tried to reassure Wilson that Source Code was just a film — a made-up story that isn't real. I reminded him of how he went to visit the studio that made Moon, showing him the souvenir clapper-board the film crew gave him. 

'If you'd got that part of William in Star Wars, that would have been just a film too — you'd have been acting, just pretending to be William. None of these films are true!' I told him.

'What, like Titanic?' he asked.

I had to admit, he'd got me there.

Deja Vu

Remembering the psychiatrist's advice from Wilson's last existential crisis, this morning I took him for a walk in Boothland Woods up by the roundabout. He trailed along behind me morosely, saying it was very pretty, but any minute he'd get jerked back to 'The Pod' and be ordered around by 'Colleen Goodwin' and 'Dr Rutledge' before being sent back here to the woods again. 

'I already feel like I've been here before, many times,' he said.

'Of course you do' I replied. 'That's because you have — we come here all the time!'

'Can I borrow your cellphone, New Dad? I have to find out who I really am! You know me as "Wilson" of course, but you're only part of the source code. I'm probably a brilliant and brave chopper pilot or something… or at least, I was...'

The trouble with movies...

Last night we all gathered on the sofa with Wilson to see the movie Source Code. We all really enjoyed it (apart from Tiny Toy who, lets be honest, has the attention span of a strawberry) tucking in to popcorn and Cheesy Wotsits while we watched. 

Around 2.30am I felt Wilson creeping in to my bed. After a few minutes he whispered to me, 'New Dad, I'm not part of the source code am I?'

'Of course you're not!' I whispered back, 'You are about the least source code-y person I know. You really don't need to worry about that. Just try to relax and go to sleep.'

I let him stay in my bed for the rest of the night but honestly, I should never have allowed him to see the film. If he ever watches Inception, or Waking Life, the psychiatrist's bills will surely bankrupt us!

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

Source Code

Wilson couldn't settle to anything today — he's too excited planning his acceptance speech for the 'Freedom of the City of London Town' he's certain Boris Johnson will award to him, for 'Services to Pavements.' 

Talk about getting ahead of yourself — Boris probably won't even have received W's letter yet! 

Anyway, to pass the time he's packaging a few pairs of ODDSIES! ready for the Xmas rush. 

He has asked whether we can all watch the movie Source Code tonight, with popcorn and the lights turned off. I know I've vowed not to let him watch any sci-fi films, but I'd quite like to see it myself, and it's only Certificate 12A so I can't really see the harm in letting him…

Memo to Boris

Wilson re-thought his letter to Boris Johnson, deciding that a hand-written missive would carry more weight than a typed one. 

I thought he was probably right, although I counselled strongly against his use of green ink. 

Here it is. 

Wilson writes to the Mayor of London

While Wilson was in London, he suffered an embarrassing mishap when he accidentally stepped in some dog poo. 

'It was just lying on the pavement!' he told me, 'Just lying there. It was disgusting, and I got it all over one of my back paws!'

He is now writing a letter to the Mayor of London Boris Johnson, with copies to the Prime Minister, the Home Office and the Department of Health, complaining about the state of London's streets, and offering his services in implementing what he calls a 'foolproof but relatively inexpensive solution.' 

Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor

All the time Wilson was away, there was something he was looking forward to doing as soon as he got home: watching Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor. Last night he did so, and it didn't disappoint; we all watched it together, and had a discussion about it afterwards. 

W said he liked it because 'The Doctor didn't after all kill billions of innocent people, but he still believed that he had, so he still felt the weight of guilt lying upon him.' 

W's home country, Costa Rica, is predominantly Roman Catholic, and I think that, with his enthusiasm for Guilt, maybe his religious roots are showing.

Anyway, we all agreed that we didn't understand how the writers are going to circumvent the '12 Regenerations' rule...

Wilson is offered a part

Wilson is safely home again, and we all listened spellbound as he related his adventures in London Town.

'Then when I finally got to the front of the queue,' he explained, 'the casting assistant called to her boss, and he came over and said “We would be honoured if you would join us.”'

We all gasped! 

'Then they offered me the part of… Third Wookie!' 

We started to cheer, until we noticed how W's face had fallen. I felt that being offered any part at all was a triumph, but W obviously has higher dramatic standards than I.

'Third WOOKIE!' he repeated,  'A mere spear-carrier!'

We all made solicitous noises. 

'Well, I declined, obviously! I can't be doing with travelling up to Elstree every day for a bit-part! If I can't play "William" I'd really rather not be involved — I'd have been barely more than an extra!'

I have to repair my Hard Drive now. If you don't receive any updates for a few days, you'll know why. Wish me luck!

Wilson returns...

Wilson is travelling home Pullman Class! I don't know whether that is to celebrate his getting the part, or to console himself for not getting it. 

Either way, there's not long to wait until I find out — I'm just off to the station to meet him.

Wilson does his audition

The auditions were far more popular than Wilson had anticipated, and even with a very early start, he was not at the front of the queue. However, everyone was very good-natured and cheerful, notwithstanding the weather, and there was much sharing of umbrellas and of stories. 

I'm missing him, and looking forward to hearing his news when he returns tomorrow.