Wilson has just informed me that today, 2 March, is Old Stuff Day!
At first I didn't believe him, but he showed me this on his iPad:
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/old-stuff-day/
He'd set his heart on re-opening his Wilson Vermilingua Museum of Old Stuff And a Robot today, but reconstruction is on hold until his brother Byron comes to lend him a hand (paw) – and that won't be until Easter, still some seven weeks away…
So instead, he is mooching mournfully through his Museum Storage Facility (AKA the dining room) dreaming about the day his magnificent Repository of Rubbish will once again open it's doors to the paying public.
#OldStuffDay
Hello, welcome, we are Polly🐝 and Billi 🐝The Bees and this is our Guest Blog!
Today is the first day of Meteorological Spring, which traditionally marks the start of the Bee Football Season!
Regard – this was once our green and pleasant football field, home of The Uckfield Bees football team, before Wilson's construction work transformed it into the desolate, muddy and barren wasteland you see today.
If you live in a desolate, muddy and barren wasteland, or you know someone who does – or if you'd just like to help bees – the good people at 38DEGREES have put together some packs of lovely Bee-friendly seeds to turn your muddy wasteland into a beautiful meadow!
Your kindness may prevent our dear children Johnson Major and Johnson Minor (and us!) starving to death, taking a Billion Human Jobs with us.
Also, here is a petition which we hope you might like to sign, asking the Government to make environmental standards stronger, not weaker, after Brexit.
Today is also 🐷World Pig Day🐷 – we love pigs because they're cute and adorable, and also more intelligent than dogs, so please spare a thought for 🐖Piggies🐖 today!
Anyway, we've been The Bees, and we'll see you next month – until then, BEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD!
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Meadow Flowers for Bees:
https://home.38degrees.org.uk/2018/03/10/seeds-for-bees/
Environmental Standards after Brexit:
https://speakout.38degrees.org.uk/campaigns/environmental-standards-stronger-not-weaker?bucket=email-blast-15_2_2019_brexit_enviro_bees_uslobbysitshook_40kflt_kick&utm_campaign=blast2019-02-16&utm_medium=email&utm_source=
It's been very warm here lately – whereas this time last year we were enduring heavy snowstorms, this year we've had some of the warmest days since records began.
The temperature is over 20°C (68°F) here right now!
It's been so warm that The Bees want to re-form their football team, The Uckfield Bees, but are unable to mark out their pitch.
They're having quite a heated discussion with Wilson about the lack of grass due to his Museum re-build having reduced most of the garden to a muddy wasteland.
W feels a bit betrayed by his Site Manager, Antony, taking The Bees' side in the argument.
Antony plays for The Uckfield Bees, and he'd quite like a kick-about with the other children while waiting for work on the Museum to resume…
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Incidentally, today is Polar Bear Day!
Polar bears are cute but dangerous (a reputation Wilson is keen to cultivate for himself) but he's a bit scared of them – a gang of [animatronic] polar bears allegedly tried to mug him for his Xmas gift as he left Father Xmas' Magic Grotto.
This was many years ago, but the incident made a deep impression on young W!
I've just bought a children's book for Wilson, to give him some idea of what intellectual level to pitch his own book.
He settled down in his library to read it, then told me that he found it 'Interesting, but politically naïve, and with a lack of plot development.'
He also suggested that the main character, while obviously cute and adorable, might benefit from a trip to his GP for a Memory Assessment.
Wilson has also heard from Kevin McCloud declining his offer for his Museum to be featured on Channel 4's Grand Designs, for a very similar reason to that given by Keith Lemon – Grand Designs features only homes, not commercial premises.
At a rough guess, I'd say there is very little commercial about Wilson's Museum – money-pit would be an altogether more accurate description…
Wilson has just shown me the next spread of his Learning Colours And Numbers book, and I'm afraid he's got a little bit carried away.
I thought yesterday's pages were just right – fun, simple and easily comprehensible – whereas today's spread is hugely complex, involving squares and formulae, and hinting at more Degree-level stuff to come – I wouldn't be surprised if he introduces Differential Equations and Calculus before he's finished…
Perhaps young anteaters can comprehend this kind of thing, but I fear he is greatly overestimating the intelligence and capacity of most human toddlers.
Tomorrow I shall pop into the Village and get him something to help him understand the level required when introducing basic concepts like Numbers and Colours to pre-school children…
