Wilson cheers up...

Bad news is never easy to hear, so I attempted to lift Wilson's mood by taking him to a nearby amusement arcade.

We had a game of Air Hockey (Antony insisted on sitting on the puck, so we couldn't play very hard) then W found a Sonic the Hedgehog ride, which is one of his favourites.

By the time we left the arcade everyone was in pretty good spirits again, although I suspect I've not heard the last of Towel Screening for Health and Profit!

Wilson asks for the truth...

Before heading back to the hotel we stopped off for a coffee, and Wilson asked me a question I found very difficult to answer: he asked me what I thought of his fledgling towel-screening business… and he asked me to tell him the truth. 

I told him as kindly as I could that I thought it was basically a good idea beset by practical difficulties, chiefly the cost of sending towels to him for testing, and the cost of returning them to their owners.  

W frowned and admitted that he too had been concerned about postage costs.

Without warning Antony suddenly announced, 'The truth? You can't handle the truth!' 

W and I turned to stare at him and he blushed, explaining, 'A Few Good Men. 1992. It's a very famous quote! Sorry...'

WIlson makes plans for his future...

When we'd finished our ice-creams we headed down to the beach. 

Wilson admired some boats and said he'd quite like a boat when he was a millionaire, but a bigger one than these. He would get one that someone else could drive for him, with proper bedrooms and an engine. And that would allow him to stay further away from the water.

Antony helpfully suggested it could be called the SS Antony, at which W raised his eyebrows and shook his head despairingly.

Before we left, Wilson gathered up a pinch of sand to look at under his microscope when we got back to the hotel. 

Wilson has another good idea. Well, an idea, anyway...

Once Wilson and Antony had finished re-enacting gangster movies on the giant globe, we sat on the prom for a spell while W outlined his plans for his microscope.

At first he wants to check all the towels at home for microbes, skin flakes, nematode eggs and antigens, to ensure our safety. This is just a rehearsal, however, as his eventual ambition is to start an international company offering a towel health-screening service. 

'I haven't thought of a name for it yet,' he explained, 'but I need to get it up and running in time for World Towel Day on 25 May next year!'

I nodded non-committally, having heard many of Wilson's business plans before. 

He interrupted my reverie, though, to clarify that 'Antigens haven't got anything to do with ants, you know!'

Wilson is on top of the world!

Wilson was very, very excited about his microscope, but he consented to proceed to Durlston Country Park just outside Swanage, where there was something I thought he'd enjoy seeing: a giant globe of the earth.

In the event, it seems I'd over-sold it to him. 

'It's not giant at all, New Dad!' he remarked scathingly. 'It might be giant when compared to a grape, or ping-pong ball, or even a football… but compared to the World, well, it's tiny!'

Nevertheless his disappointment didn't prevent him from climbing over the fence and clambering up the globe until he bestrode the North Pole like a Colossus and shouting, 'Made it, Ma! Top of the world!' as loud as he could.

'What are you doing?' I called up to him.

'I'm re-creating the final scene from "White Heat" the iconic 1949 gangster movie!' he shouted down to me. 'I'm James Cagney!' 

'You dirty rat!' called Antony...

Wilson has a lucky find!

We were driving through Bournemouth on our way to Durlston Country Park when Wilson suddenly shouted 'Stop! New Dad, stop the car!!'

Fearing some dire emergency I screeched the car to a halt, but before I could ask what was the matter Wilson had jumped out and darted into a Charity Shop.

I don't know whether I've mentioned this before, but for some time now W has craved a microscope. In fact he has a large collection of magnifying glasses and cardboard tubes at home from which he'd hoped to build one — but now he won't need to: 

He emerged from the shop after a couple of minutes proudly clutching... a microscope!

I hope he'll still want to go to Durlston and won't insist on going back to the hotel to check all the towels for microbes…

If you'd like to share Wilson's adventures with a friend — which would be a GOOD THING TO DO — just send them this link:

http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

Simple! 
Wilson thanks you — you've made a young anteater very happy!

Doctor Who

We ate early again last night then Wilson rushed us back to the hotel for what he called 'An epoch-defining event': the new Doctor Who! 

I'm beginning to think hotels should provide PVRs so guests don't have to rush back to watch 'unmissable' tv. 

Either that or guests should wait until they get back home to catch up on what they've missed. 

And when I say 'guests' I mean 'Wilson'…

W, though, is a part of the MTV Generation, with a short attention span and an unwillingness to wait for anything! 

And I enjoyed watching it too.