Since the siege began there has been much discussion about who will be brave enough to step outside and check whether the threat has passed.
All the children were obviously excluded, but Wilson felt strongly that Uncle Zoltan would be the ideal volunteer.
'He could slip out through the letterbox, unobserved, make a stealthy reconnoitre of the area, then secretly return through the gap under the front door to report back!'
Uncle Z, while pleased to be the centre of attention, was understandably less keen on this plan, pointing out that the buzzing of his wings would draw the Zombies' attention to him.
'Moreover,' he added, 'while I would happily sacrifice my life to save all of your lives, (well, most of you, anyway) I fear that I might alert the Zombie Hordes to your presence here…'
Wilson peered out through the letterbox, and intoned in a sombre voice: 'They're still there – the zombies are still among us!'
He considered for a moment, before adding, 'Or should that be "amongst" us? I'm never sure…'
Until this moment it had never occurred to me that Zombies were actually a thing… but everyone else seemed to be taking the matter very seriously.
Wilson and Nërp ran back to the house and moved many of the cardboard boxes littering the garden onto the front path to form a barricade, then locked and deadlocked the door.
While Nërp went to ensure the security of the rear entrance and check on the sTone Brothers' safety, Wilson stood nervously inside the front door, peering through the patterned glass and trying to make out what was going on.
Occasionally he would shout through the letterbox, 'Go away! We're not in!'
I slept surprisingly well last night – considering that I was sharing my bed with several dozen large cardboard boxes – although I was roused from my convalescent slumber by Nërp tapping at the bedroom door.
He entered without waiting, apologised for the intrusion, then told me that Wilson needed me downstairs, 'On a matter of some urgency!'
I pulled on some clothes and rushed downstairs, where I found Nërp waiting by the front door. 'This way!' he called, 'And please hurry!'
He accompanied me out into the street where I found Wilson regarding a strange white van.
Whatever I had been expecting, I can honestly say this was at the bottom of my list…
By the time I reached the bedroom, I was not altogether surprised to find my bed also covered in boxes.
'If it's a bit crowed in here, New Dad, you can share with me in the Tumble Dryer!' Wilson offered, generously.
I'm not altogether certain this is what the Hospital meant when they told me to take it easy for a few days, be sure to get plenty of rest…
After a trying day at the hospital and an irritating homecoming, I thought it was time to follow my surgeon's advice and take it easy.
Thinking I'd lie down on the bed, I clambered over some boxes and fought my way upstairs to the bedroom in search of tranquility...
Peace...
Rest...
Relaxation...
Wilson called after me, 'Watch your step, New Dad – there's one or two things on the stairs. What with you not being able to see properly, I wouldn't want you to trip and damage them, 'cos the insurance isn't in place yet!'
