AN APOLOGY

Normal Service will be resumed 
as soon as our hotel gets its act together!

https://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/
 

HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION

On returning to the hotel, Wilson headed straight to the bar in search of something to calm his nerves after a trying experience at sea. 

What he found there did not calm his nerves: he found a board warning guests that the Hotel Wi-Fi Network would be unavailable for a few days!

'This is a violation of my Human Rights, New Dad!' he raged. 'Well, my Anteater Rights anyway – I would compose an email to the Home Secretary, except that without Wi-Fi I can't send it! I am well vexed!'

He stormed off to confront the Hotel Manager, who told him that there was a 'technical fault' which was beyond his control. Everyone was trying to fix it, but the network could be down until the middle of next week, at the earliest.

Wilson returned, somewhat mollified, with a voucher for a free G&T, which the manager had given him by way of an apology – he must have encountered irate anteater guests before, and learned the best way to deal with them ;o)…

BACK ON TERRA COTTA

Once we had returned to the quay and the boat was moored, Wilson jumped up and ran down the gangway.

'Ahhh…' he sighed, 'safely back once more on terra cotta!'

With this, he crouched down on the quay for a moment.

'What's up? I asked him, 'Seen some ants?' 

'Excuse me, I am kissing the ground.' he replied.

'Why?' I asked, and he told me, 'Well, I saw a Pope do it once on tv – and just because I'm a Pastafarian, not a Roman Catholic, I didn't see why that should stop me giving it a try!'

As we walked away from the harbour together, he remarked, 'Although actually there were one or two lightly-salted ants there, and it seemed rude not to… well, you know – eat them.'

PLAIN SAILING

It's called a Pleasure Boat Cruise, but honestly I question how much actual pleasure is to be had when one's travelling companion is constantly worried about falling overboard or the boat sinking.

However, since his spell in the wheelhouse and a chat with the captain, Wilson has been far more relaxed.

He has even relinquished his grip on the life belt and is enjoying the cruise in a much more laid-back way – which in turn means that I am able to do the same…