THE FIRST LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS

Nërp has installed The Cowl wind turbine in the garden.

Unfortunately for his test, today is completely windless – it's like a stanza from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner – but our regular Amazon driver has just dropped off some industrial fans.

 

I have little doubt that my Visa card has paid for them. ☹️

 

Once Nërp switched the fans on I noticed our Smart Meter was spinning round like a Catherine Wheel, but when I went out to tell Nërp I found him deep in discussion with Andrew the seagull, who was squawking something about 'efficiency' and the various laws of thermodynamics.

 

Nërp was looking a bit flustered while trying to maintain that using the fans was merely a 'testing procedure', but Andrew kept shouting: 'It's the law of diminishing returns, mate! If anyone should know about that, it's me – my returns have been diminishing ever since I was just an egg!'

 

 

THE COWL: TESTING

Nërp is installing The Cowl – his revolutionary new bladeless wind turbine – in the garden, ready for a full test tomorrow.

 

Its inner workings are a closely guarded secret as espionage is allegedly rife in the wind-power game!

 

Our Glorious Leader (aka Boris Johnson) proclaimed only a couple of years ago that 'Wind Power couldn't blow the skin off a rice pudding' but has now U-turned and pledged that wind will power all UK homes by 2030(!) and that the UK will become a 'World Leader' in wind power – or at least in hot air.

 

This being the case I can well imagine that competition to develop more efficient generation will intensify… and Nërp is certain he can develop something truly world-beating!

 

 

THE COWL

Nërp is back in his workshop redesigning his wind turbine.

Due to the constant stream of visitors he has installed what he calls a Safety Barrier to keep onlookers out of the Danger Zone.

 

I thought his current inventions were supposed to be non-dangerous? 🤔

 

Anyway, his new turbine design, named The Cowl, is apparently 'bladeless' which sounds very… um, interesting?

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The Optimistic October Calendar suggests that today I should 'Look out for positive news and reasons to be cheerful'

I'm looking… but sadly I'm not seeing.

 

 

Ant Wars 2: BYRON INSTALLS HIS ART
Byron has been in the Uckfield Contemporary Gallery installing his latest work, the photo-series 'Signs that say what you want them to say…'

He wants it to be ready for the time the Gallery finally re-opens – and of course, give you the opportunity to see in advance… and without you having to pay an admission fee to Wilson!
 
I suggested to him that the little Polaroids might be overpowered by the very big frames they're in, and told him I could buy some smaller (and cheaper) frames at Wilkinsons, but Byron explained that the large frames and mats were to give 'Gravitas' to the tiny photographs.

He really seems to know what he's talking about, so I always defer to his artistic judgement.

In other news, Nërp is re-designing his wind turbine due to the 'disappointing performance' of his first prototype.

FIELD TEST

Nërp has installed his first prototype Wind Turbine in the garden.

I hadn't appreciated that he would be commandeering the Beach Hut as a 'testing station', but I suppose by now the weather is a bit too cold and wet for the children to be playing on the beach…

 

Still, when I think of all the money we'll save I'm sure it will all be worthwhile!

 

 

NËRP INVENTS SOMETHING NON-DANGEROUS

Nërp has been busy in his workshop and has invented something which he assures me is completely harmless and, moreover, will save me money.

He has just shown it to me, and it's – a Wind Turbine!

 

To be fair, I don't imagine he intended his jet-pack to be almost lethally dangerous, but sometimes a project just gets a bit out of hand…

 

At least the turbine isn't too big and conspicuous – it actually reminds me of a piece of kinetic sculpture!

 

He is exploring a number of design variations to determine maximum efficiency – surely he can't get into too much trouble doing that?

 

And perhaps we'll be able to go off-grid – or even sell our excess electricity back to the Power Company!

 

Brilliant!

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Hmm – it's difficult to know what to say to this… 🤔 

Nërp has told me that tomorrow I will be allowed into his workshop to see his totally non-dangerous and money-saving invention.

 

I'm off now to start preparing my 'positive-and-enthusiastic' face.

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The Optimistic October Calendar suggests that today I should "Focus on a positive change that you want to see in Society" – as though I wasn't already doing my best…