The perfect Easter gift...

While Wilson was choosing his seeds I spotted the ideal Easter present for him — Giant Chocolate Ants' Eggs! I stealthily bought a jar without him noticing.

On the drive home he asked me whether the clocks should go forward or back tonight. I told him forward. Definitely forward! 

'Okey dokey!' he replied. 'Leave it to me — the clocks will be in safe paws!'

So, at least there shouldn't be any clock-related drama tomorrow. 

Which will be a first. 

A trip to the Garden Centre

Wilson was up early this morning, saying that he wants to do up the garden ready for the wedding. To this end he apparently 'needs' to go to the garden centre to buy some new gardening tools. 

In addition to a new spade, fork, trowel, kneeling-pad, secateurs and a load of other unexpectedly expensive gear, he bought a flowering cherry tree in pot and a lot of wild flower and herb seeds. 

He also bought a Mothers' Day card, remembering that he hadn't yet sent a card to his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua.  

'This isn't the year to upset Mrs V!' he opined, 'Not with the news I've got to break to her on my birthday...'

Wilson must not be disturbed...

Whatever Wilson's great idea is (and he's still not so much as hinted at what it might be) he has been in his tumble dryer all day today thinking about it. He didn't even come out for breakfast, instead sending Antony to bring him provisions, particularly 'brain food,' which I take to mean extra ants with everything. 

Between snacks Antony and Tiny Toy are in there with him in the capacity of 'Marketing Manager' and 'Assistant Marketing Manager' respectively.

Sometimes I wonder what Tiny Toy — a stuffed toy's stuffed toy — actually contributes to these enterprises. 

But what do I know about these things?

Wilson achieves enlightenment. Possibly.

This morning Wilson and the bees gathered around his iPad in the kitchen to choose a new date for the wedding. W has quite a busy schedule so it's not as easy as you might suppose. 

Gradually I noticed W staring blankly into space, oblivious to his surroundings. Suddenly he jumped down from the table and ran off to the tumble dryer, calling back to the bees, 'We'll do the calendar later! I must write this idea down before I forget it!'

He would not give me any details, but did confide that it was the 'most coruscatingly amazing brainwave I have ever had, ever! It's a genuine moment of Satori — I am enlightened!'

This bears all the signs of being another bizarre and totally improbable money-making scheme. Once again, I fear the worst.

Wilson explains...

Actually, by the time Antony had played Babymetal's "Gimme Choco!" fifteen or twenty times, I started to warm to it! 

Wilson took Polly and Billi to one side and explained about the significance of his upcoming 7th birthday and how he would have to visit his mother, Mrs Vermilingua, to explain in person how he'd broken his promise to her about being a millionaire by now. 

He also said that in his view a bit of a drama and some tears make a party seem more authentic — like on EastEnders or Corrie!

Then he donned a deelybopper and boogied for all he was worth — even Tiny Toy emerged from behind the iPad and danced with Antony!

Billi-B offered to teach me how to do the Wiggle Dance, but I declined. I think too much Dad-Dancing can spoil the atmosphere of a party, and I know what she really wanted was to dance with Polly…

The wedding cannot take place...

Wilson made a brief announcement, saying the wedding cannot take place on 11 May as that's his birthday. This was met with an awkward silence, broken only by the sound of Polly sobbing. 

Sensing that the speeches were over, Antony pressed Play and on came Babymetal's techno-rock mega-hit “Gimme Choco!” 

This played a couple of times while Billi-B consoled Polly, and by the third play both bees were doing the Bee Wiggle Dance together.

“Gimme Choco!” is allegedly all bees' favourite song! Try it: click the link, you might like it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKqgE4BwAY

I didn't, but maybe that's just me. 

Wedding date is announced!

Once the music had stopped, Polly-B made a sweet little speech in which she thanked everyone for coming and announced that the date for the wedding had been decided: 11 May this year. 

Everyone cheered… except for Wilson, whose face fell. 

He then started to make a speech of his own, but he looked very uncomfortable, as though he was about to break some bad news.

Oblivious to the developing awkwardness, Antony cued up his next song.