Polly and Billie The Bees are travelling up to London with Uncle Zoltan to confront the Prime Minister about the 'Turkish' bee under sentence of death.
Polly has organised what she describes as a Massive March for Justice to Downing Street, hoping to persuade DEFRA to lift the death sentence on this innocent apian.
As they await the arrival of the train to London, I imagine they're all feeling the mixture of excitement and apprehension that I used to feel when I set out on an Aldermaston March ☮️ in the 1960s…
Only a few days after announcing the start of the new Bee Football Season, it has been cancelled!
Billi says she can't possibly countenance playing 'some stupid game' while innocent bees are under sentence of death by the Government.
Polly has organised an on-line petition urging DEFRA* to check it's facts and lift the death sentence imposed on the supposedly-Turkish Bee.
Uncle Zoltan has typed a strongly-worded letter to the MP for Bristol (where the bee was last seen) pointing out that Capital Punishment was abolished in Great Britain in 1965, and that the officials at DEFRA couldn't find their own Spiracles using both Tarsi!
Uncle Z certainly doesn't pull his punches – I hope he hasn't overstepped the mark here…
If she wants my advice, Theresa Villiers MP, Head of DEFRA, would be well advised to capitulate now, because once Billi's got her mandibles into something – particularly a social injustice – she doesn't let go!
However, while Polly and her colleagues were preparing little protest banners for a march on Parliament, news arrived that the Turkish Bee has escaped!
*DEFRA = Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs
When the boys and I arrived home from the village, we found both The Bees in a terrible state!
I had made the mistake of leaving the tv tuned to a News Channel, and Billi had seen an item about a Turkish bee being condemned to death – by the British Government!
Polly was in floods of tears, while Billi was incandescent with rage!
I found this entire tale very difficult to believe, but on checking it out I discovered that the facts as outlined to me were substantially correct:
https://globalnews.ca/news/5706637/turkish-bee-sentenced-to-death/
'The worst thing is,' Billi raged, 'the Turkish Bee is endangered – and our government wants to kill it! But', she paused for breath, 'the bee isn't even Turkish! The Government says it's an Osmia Avosetta, but even the most stunted of intellects can see it's a Megachile Centuncularis!'
She threw up her tarsi in despair.
I will freely admit, I'm no Bee Expert (I can't even tell Polly and Billi apart, except for their personalities) but Billi is an undisputed expert in her field, and if she says it's a Megachile Centuncularis – then that's unarguably what it is!
Everyone was pretty drained after an entire weekend of virtual space travel, so leaving the younger children in the care of Polly and Billi I took Wilson and Byron into the village to get some fresh air and relax.
Byron asked whether we could have a look in the book shop as he wanted to buy a book on the Moon Landings with his pocket money.
Guess what I found while they were browsing in the Non-Fiction and Cookery sections respectively!
Both Wilson and Byron are quite unusual names so, thinking this was too good an opportunity to miss, I bought both books as a little surprise for later.
As we were driving home Wilson mentioned that, following Liverpool's attempt to trademark the word 'Liverpool' he was considering attempting something similar himself.
I smiled indulgently, and asked what word he had in mind.
'Biro and me are still considering what word would be best…' he replied. 'We've got several brilliant words on the shortlist, but I think it best to keep them under wraps for now!'
'Yes, they're Top Secret!' Byron confirmed…
Not content with building a replica of the Lunar Lander for Wilson and Byron, Nërp has somehow also constructed a facsimile of Houston Control, for the other children!
There's even an intercom so they can communicate with the 'Eagle Lander', and Nërp has now taken on the role of Michael Collins, the Astronaut who remained in the Lunar Orbiter.
Pterry is even starting to join in – he keeps shouting 'Roger, Twank*' and giggling uncontrollably!
However, he seems incapable of addressing Wilson as 'Buzz' (whether this references Buzz Aldrin or Lightyear is unclear) instead always calling him Mummy, which Wilson insists is causing some unwelcome amusement amongst the other crew members (ie Byron) – which he fears might possibly lead to an eventual breakdown of discipline…
_________
*In the excitement of the lander finally touching down on the lunar surface, Mission Control's exact words were:
'Roger, Twank...Tranquility, we copy you on the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue here. We're breathing again. Thanks a lot!'
Pterry finds this small slip of the tongue extremely amusing, and will not let it go!
