Wilson returned from the village clutching a bottle of ‘Dry Shampoo’ – a fine white powder indistinguishable from Talcum Powder, except by its price – which he proceeded to empty over his head.
Now he is covered not only with soot, ash and smuts, but also with a fine white powder which seems reluctant to come off.
It has proved resistant to brushing, so Nërp is giving him the once-over with the vacuum cleaner, which W says tickles intolerably.
Byron, having showered, is fluffy, fragrant and cuddly – I’m wondering whether Wilson wouldn’t have found it easier to do the same.
Or, indeed, whether he will eventually have to shower to get the Dry Shampoo out…
Hello there! This is Polly and Billi The Bees and today being the first of the month, this is our Guest Blog!
As you know, we usually talk about life and death issues affecting bees worldwide – pesticides, insecticides, honey recipes and so on – but you know what? For June we’ve decided to lighten up, kick back and just have some fun.
So here’s a nice Bee-Related Poster for you to print out and put on your bedroom wall next to your David Cassidy and Morten Harket posters, or on the notice board where you work.
If you’ve got a computer, you could even use it as wallpaper!
We’re looking forward to being very busy bees during June – we just hope the sun shines like it’s supposed to, so we can make LOADS of lovely Honey!
So, we’ve been The Bees, and we’ll see you again next month.
Until then, BEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD!
Following the fireworks experiments, everyone involved is covered in soot, ash and smuts, and generally in need of a long, hot shower.
Byron is in the bathroom showering – he trotted off good as gold as soon as I suggested it. He’s a lovely lad!
Wilson, on the other hand, ran outside and locked himself inside his Museum, refusing to come out until I lifted the threat of a shower.
After about half an hour, he sent me a message saying that he had been ‘Starved into submission’ and was now ‘willing to negotiate – under duress.’
The compromise on which we have agreed is that he pops into the village to buy some ‘Dry Shampoo’ which he assures me is ‘Just as good as ordinary shampoo – probably even better!’ but avoids him having to get wet.
Nërp is worried about short-circuiting and/or going rusty if he gets wet, so the bees are brushing him down in the kitchen.
Wilson had originally intended to write his big sister’s name, Andrea, in smoke, but said that six letters would use up all his ingredients.
Consequently, he’s going to honour his R&D team by attempting to produce the letters W, B and N – his, Byron’s and Nërp’s initials.
The three letters did indeed appear, but after a minute the garden was completely engulfed in acrid, choking smoke, making the letters impossible to see.
A couple of Wilson’s friends have mentioned that Daylight Fireworks have already been invented.
I mentioned this to W, but he was dismissive, asking, ‘Haven’t they seen my Smokeworks Unique Selling Point? Can their so-called daylight fireworks spell out names and words? I think not!’
But right now, just to err on the side of caution, he’s in the house Googling for a good No-Win, No-Fee Intellectual Property Solicitor.
Uh-oh – I’ve just heard the siren of an approaching fire engine! I’ll pour some sand over the smouldering Smokeworks, then I’m off to hide indoors.
I think I’ll lock all the doors and pretend we’re out…
Wilson, with the help of Byron and Nërp, continues to develop his Patent Pending Daylight Fireworks.
‘I shall call them SmokeWorks®™ New Dad!’ he told me brightly.
As the smoke began to clear, Nërp handed Wilson the MkII Smokework. He placed it carefully in the fire bucket and lit the fuse.
Before long, what looked very like a percentage sign materialised in the air.
I was impressed, and said as much to Wilson, who beamed happily while explaining that the ‘%’ sign is the hardest letter to do. ‘If I can do a “%”’, he told me, ‘I can do anything!’
I hope the MkIII SmokeWork is about deodorising the terrible, choking miasma they give off…
