03/08/2013

Sex rears its head...


While reading through his Apiary for Beginners books, Wilson came across a tricky conundrum: Polly may in fact be a boy bee. 
He says he will give Polly a formal interview this afternoon, but will start addressing her as Jonny B immediately. 
Well, that shouldn't cause this little bee too much confusion!


02/08/2013

Wilson's toys are okay!


Antony and Tiny Toy are both okay after Wilson gave them a couple of hours in the ICU. This turned out to mean 'Intensive Cuddling Unit' — ie W sat in the tumble dryer cuddling them until they warmed up. 
In the meantime, a prototype Oddsies! bag has arrived from the design agency. W is very excited, saying that he loves it 'when a plan comes together!'


01/08/2013

Hypothermia crisis!


Wilson has had a word with the earwigs. It turns out they're a very nice family, but their teenage children spend all their time in their rooms playing Heavy Metal instead of doing what earwigs do. Whatever that is. 
Unwilling to evict a young family, W offered to install soundproofing — as long as the earwigs start paying him rent. The Mother earwig was enthusiastic, but the Father pointed out that he'd have to start working extra shifts earwigging to pay for it.
Halfway through negotiations, Wilson suddenly exclaimed 'Oh!' and ran off towards the house shouting, 'It's alright, I'm coming!'
Seems he'd forgotten that he'd put Antony and Tiny Toy in the fridge during the height of the heatwave.


CHECK THIS OUT! 
July has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!
I've just uploaded the latest monthly volume of Ant Wars II: July 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.
Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as a Summer Heatwave!"
You can download it or read it online at:
http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_july_2013
http://issuu.com/friendlydragon

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 
http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

31/07/2013

Squatters


Wilson's beekeeping books have arrived from Amazon and he's sitting in the conservatory reading them. 
In other news, a gang of earwigs has moved in to Polly's Bee House. According to Wilson, Polly has apparently told him that they're playing loud music all night and she can't get any sleep because of the noise.  
W confides in me that he wishes he'd taken out Landlord Insurance, to avoid tenant problems like this.


30/07/2013

Little jobs in the garden...


In order to give Polly the best possible care, Wilson has ordered a couple of books on apiary from Amazon. He was initially puzzled, saying he was interested in keeping bees, not apes, but eventually worked it out!
While he awaits their arrival he's spending a quiet day working in the garden… and keeping an eye on Polly… and dozing, of course. 
Mostly dozing.


29/07/2013

Wilson pops into the village...


Last night Wilson signed off his new logos, so the design agency is now working on the wrapper for his ODDSIES! project. He has put a lot of effort into this — I hope it doesn't end in tears…
He has just popped into the village to buy some pollen tablets for Polly from the Health Store and to pick up some tiny samples of wallpaper, in case she wants to redecorate her rooms. 
I think he's mollycoddling that bee!


28/07/2013

Artwork approval


Wilson called me into the kitchen where he had laid out the contents of yesterday's envelope for inspection. I found Antony and Tiny Toy already there, so I was the last to be shown; clearly W values my opinion less than that of two stuffed toys!
'These are my new logos,' he announced. 'One for my Oddsies! brand, and one for all my Wilson Vermilingua business enterprises!'
I admired them for a few minutes, then asked how much they had cost.
'They were done by a very good agency,' W replied. 'They were recommended to me!'
'But how much is the bill?' I persisted.
'Oh, I don't know yet,' he replied, breezily, 'They still have the Oddsies! packaging to design, once I've approved these logos.'
With that he replaced the artwork in the envelope and left. His evasiveness says 'expensive' to me!