Twizzy

Yesterday's Wimbledon semifinal was so tense that even Wilson managed to stay awake for (most of) it! He'd suddenly jerk awake and shout, 'Come on Andy!' 

While waiting for Sunday's final, he's gone back to working on his robot. 

Here's another photo of him at the Chelsea Flower Show where, in spite of its silly name, he was very taken by the new Renault Twizzy, and I have a feeling I know what he'll be wanting next Christmas…

D'oh! I can't believe I've just mentioned Christmas!

Hampton Court Flower Show

Phew! Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but Wilson's main birthday present to me was two tickets to Hampton Court Flower Show! 

Had a lovely day, but when we got home we were both exhausted - I carried W out of the car and popped him straight into his bed in the tumble dryer, put the plants we'd bought into the garden then went to bed, where I slept 11 hours straight! 

The tickets were a complete surprise as they hadn't shown up on my VISA statement, but W confessed that he'd been given them by a friend of his, Richard, who is a gardener and had a couple of spares. 

I have to say, Wilson certainly knows how to spend! Almost everything he saw, he HAD to buy for his Charity Garden Open Day… and guess whose plastic he put it all on!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I've had a lovely day so far.

Wilson gave me what I thought was a copy of his novel '50 Sheds of Grey' but when I opened it I found was actually a copy of Dr Brian Cox's 'The Quantum Universe: Everything that Can Happen Does Happen'. I expect we'll read that together, as I might need W's razor-sharp intellect to help me with some of the concepts. 

He also gave me an enormous package which, when opened revealed another package and so on, Russian-Doll style, until I finally opened the tiniest box imaginable which was labelled in W's handwriting, 'Higgs Boson Presentation Gift Set'. W promised me that the box is 'stuffed full of' Higgs Bosons, and I should be careful not to spill them when I open it. I guess I'd need a LHC to see whether it really is full of Higgs Bosons, but at least, as of today, it could be!

Birthday lunch was delicious, with a special Ant-and-Redcurrant Sauce that W has been working to perfect for days. I think he still has a little fine-tuning to go… but the noodles and the mushrooms were perfect!

W says that I will receive my main present tomorrow, and we'll need the car. Mysterious - I hope I can sleep tonight with the anticipation. I also hope Wilson doesn't think he'll be doing any of the driving…

Plot adjustment

I suggest to Wilson that perhaps his novel could do with a little romance, a soupçon of love interest; the original book is, after all, described as 'mummy-porn'. He grumbles about the purity of his plot being spoiled, but grudgingly consents to add a girl anteater to the story. 

'She is poor and ragged, a delicate creature,' he explains, 'befriended by me, um, I mean by the handsome hero, and her gamine beauty gradually emerges as she helps with the painting.'

'Might they get engaged, marry and have a litter of adorable baby anteaters?' I asked.

'Poof! Some chance!' W replies, dismissively. 'There might be a bit of cuddling, but she won't be a major character, and there certainly won't be any babies!'

The Plot

Wilson has just outlined the plot of 'Fifty Sheds of Grey' to me:

A young anteater, poor but exceptionally intelligent and good-looking(!), converts his stepfather's garden shed into a museum. This is such a success that he buys a further 49 garden sheds, all of which form annexes to the museum, and he paints them all grey. 

As plots go it doesn't sound enthralling, but I suppose it's all down to the quality of the writing. Anyway, W's aim is for it to be bought by mistake by embarrassed or confused shoppers hoping to buy '50 Shades of Gray'. 

Who knows? Perhaps it will work. Perhaps it will turn out to be a cult Christmas gift.

50 Sheds of Grey

I half expected to find that Wilson had ordered six tons of Readymix for his Easter Island Head project, but he remained in bed in the tumbledryer until late today. When I went to wake him, I found he was already hard at work with his (ie my) iPad, tapping away at the keyboard.

I asked him how he was, and he said he must not be disturbed as he was working on a 'brilliant idea'. When I pressed him on this, he said he was writing a blockbuster novel that was 'certain to outsell Harry Potter. It's called "Fifty Sheds of Grey". People who are embarrassed about buying the "50 Shades of Gray" book will buy it by mistake!'

'Hmm…' I responded. The original book is a very racy 'Adult' novel - is that what you're writing?'

'Give me a break!' he replied, 'I'm only five! What do I know about that stuff?'

I'm sure he'll tell me what it's about eventually. I'll bring him some coffee and choc-ant cookies in bed and try to get him talking about it…