Wilson was pretty miffed yesterday when he saw the football shirt The Bees have designed for their team, The Uckfield Bees.
He
ran into the kitchen and leapt up onto the worktop, brandishing a
red-and-gold T-shirt, spluttering, 'I can't believe you did that! I've
already designed this shirt, and I'm in the middle of very delicate negotiations over a Sponsorship Deal and Grotesquely-Overpriced Replica Shirts...'
Billi's fur began to bristle a bit, but Polly replied calmly, 'Well never mind – we've got ages
to sort this out. No-one but an idiot would even consider playing
football in the Winter!'
She shuddered, before adding, 'Just think of
the cold, the wet, the mud... the washing! UGH!' while Billi and the Johnson Brothers nodded wisely in agreement.
I asked W about the 'Three Lions' – he replied, 'They're Lion Ants, New Dad! Lion ANTS! Have I taught you nothing?'
Hello, we are The Bees, and this is our Guest Blog!
Welcome to December, the first month of Meteorological Winter – season of Scarves, Log Fires and Mulled Mead!
As you know, we and our little family comprise the Uckfield Bees Football Club, and we have designed some football shirts for next season.
They're white, easy-care 100% cotton with three Gold Beehives on the front, and our names on the back. They shouldn't be too expensive to have printed, because they're quite small, and we think they'll really give our team a competitive edge in the local League.
This is the last time we'll be Blogging before 2018 starts, so we all hope you have a Very Happy Winter Solstice, Xmas etc!
So, we've been The Bees and we'll see you next year.
Until then, BEEEEEEEEE GOOD!
🐝🐝🐞🐞
Wilson says that he will be in 'Deep Mourning' for only a few more days – not the full two years dictated by etiquette – because 'that is what Mr Juicy would have wanted,' apparently. I have to say I'm quite relieved to hear this!
W is now hanging a photograph of Mr J 'in happier times' in the living room.
Obviously the atmosphere in the house is still a bit subdued, but I have a plan which might occupy the boys for a little while and distract them from morbid thoughts...
What with everything that's been going on recently, I really don't know how Wilson's been able to fit this in... but he has!
Here is your FREE Calendar Page for December, with Best Wishes from Wilson, Byron, me and all the rest of the family for a Very Happy Winter Solstice❢
Also Xmas❣
😀🎄🍰🍷🍻🍾❤️🌟✨❄️🌨☃️
No, no, no – it's not Wilson's engagement to Ms Caroline Katz – it's Prince Harry and Meghan Markle!
I had expected today to be spent moping about Mr Juicy and nursing gin-hangovers from yesterday's Wake, but Wilson heard the Royal News this morning and is determined to cash-in by being the first to market with an overpriced Royal Engagement Souvenir Mug.
He and Byron are in the kitchen cutting out pictures of the Happy Couple and Sellotaping them onto all the mugs in the kitchen cupboards.
Should you be misguided enough to consider purchasing one of these mugs, I wouldn't expect it to be Dishwasher Safe.
I wouldn't even expect it to be Coffee Safe...
When Wilson signed up to be an Ordained Priest in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (which he did only so that he could officiate at same-sex Bee Weddings) I bet he never foresaw this sad day.
He's in the garden – round by the Asteroid Shelter, in the shadow of his Folly – wearing his FSM Hat of Office, officiating the obsequies at Mister Juicy's Funeral.
When the casket is interred he will add the poster for what would have been his and Mr J's first performance together at the Uckfield Empire Theatre – the performance that would have launched their career.
The younger children are indoors with Diesel and Neil on this most melancholy of occasions, as The Bees think the actual burial might be too harrowing for them.
The Funeral Party therefore consists only of Polly and Billi (Chief Mourners), Mole the Mole (Gravedigger), Dave the Pig, the sTone Brothers, Byron and me (pallbearer).
I hope the ensuing Wake might take everyone's mind off the recent sad events...
