Today’s joke from Tiny Toy is:
“Do you know what the greatest invention EVER is? It’s the Thermos Flask — it keeps hot drinks hot, and it keeps cold drinks cold, but… how does it know?”
Uncle Zoltan rather unkindly declared that this was the worst joke he’d EVER heard, and proceeded to tell an interminable story, interspersed with a lot of chuckling, about a hornet, a wasp and a yellow-jacket who went into a bar together…
Wilson has made a Get-Well-Soon card for our iMac and sent it off to:
The iMac Hospital,
Surrey,
England,
Europe (until we leave),
The World,
Earth,
The Solar System,
The Milky Way Galaxy.
04/02/2017
03/02/2017
TT’S JOKES — DAY 2
The iMac (let’s not argue about its ownership right now) was collected this morning and is on its way to the iMac Hospital in Surrey. I hope it’s olright and makes a v. swift recovery.
Anyway, here is another of Tiny Toy’s jokes:
“An onion told me a joke the other day. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!”
Brave try, TT, but we’re all feeling the loss here at Chez New Dad…
Anyway, here is another of Tiny Toy’s jokes:
“An onion told me a joke the other day. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!”
Brave try, TT, but we’re all feeling the loss here at Chez New Dad…
02/02/2017
TT'S DAILY JOKE
Wilson seems to have broken my iMac — or as he prefers to express the same event, I seem to have broken his iMac!
Whatever, the outcome is the same: the service company will be collecting it tomorrow and its repair will take 'three to five working days'
️
This means that there will be no Ant Wars posts for perhaps a week!
However, to keep everyone's spirits up, Tiny Toy has heroically offered to come up with a joke for every day the iMac is out of action!
Today TT's joke is:
"I came home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said, 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said, 'You are!'"
Hmmm. 😕
In the meantime, if you're visiting, remember to use the side door because Uncle Zoltan is still in meltdown...
Whatever, the outcome is the same: the service company will be collecting it tomorrow and its repair will take 'three to five working days'
️
This means that there will be no Ant Wars posts for perhaps a week!
However, to keep everyone's spirits up, Tiny Toy has heroically offered to come up with a joke for every day the iMac is out of action!
Today TT's joke is:
"I came home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said, 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said, 'You are!'"
Hmmm. 😕
In the meantime, if you're visiting, remember to use the side door because Uncle Zoltan is still in meltdown...
01/02/2017
MR ALBERT EINSTEIN
Hello, we are The Bees, Polly and Billi, and this is our Guest Blog!
Today we had hoped to tell you about something very important which a very clever and wise man said about Bees. That wise and clever man was Mr Albert Einstein, and what he said is:
'If bees disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would have only four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.'
That's what we had hoped to tell you, but what we must actually tell you is that Uncle Zoltan seems to have gone rogue, and we've had to stop using the front door. If you come round, please use the door at the side of the house!
We've tried to enrol Uncle Z in an Anger Management programme, but you've no idea how difficult it is to get psychiatric help for hornets. Or insects in general, come to that.
Anyway, we've been The Bees, and we'll see you next month — until then, Beeeeee Happy!
PS What do you think of my new glasses? I think they look well cool, and Polly loves me in them! ❤️
Today we had hoped to tell you about something very important which a very clever and wise man said about Bees. That wise and clever man was Mr Albert Einstein, and what he said is:
'If bees disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would have only four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.'
That's what we had hoped to tell you, but what we must actually tell you is that Uncle Zoltan seems to have gone rogue, and we've had to stop using the front door. If you come round, please use the door at the side of the house!
We've tried to enrol Uncle Z in an Anger Management programme, but you've no idea how difficult it is to get psychiatric help for hornets. Or insects in general, come to that.
Anyway, we've been The Bees, and we'll see you next month — until then, Beeeeee Happy!
PS What do you think of my new glasses? I think they look well cool, and Polly loves me in them! ❤️
30/01/2017
HEY MR POSTMAN
Uncle Zoltan's relentless angry pacing up and down on the front door mat is making everyone uneasy — it's as tense in here as in the Big Brother House after Kim Woodburn went in!
When the postman finally called with a letter, Uncle Z fell on it, ripping it open before he realised with disgust that it had been addressed not to him but to 'That Anteater' as he refers to Wilson.
Matters are made even worse by W constantly humming 'Hey Mr Postman', 'Return To Sender', 'Lightning Strikes the Postman' — even the theme music from 'You've Got M@il'!
If it's his intention to wind Uncle Z up, it is most certainly working...
When the postman finally called with a letter, Uncle Z fell on it, ripping it open before he realised with disgust that it had been addressed not to him but to 'That Anteater' as he refers to Wilson.
Matters are made even worse by W constantly humming 'Hey Mr Postman', 'Return To Sender', 'Lightning Strikes the Postman' — even the theme music from 'You've Got M@il'!
If it's his intention to wind Uncle Z up, it is most certainly working...
29/01/2017
STICKERING
Wilson went out after dark last night putting up stickers reading UCKFIELD POUND WELCOME HERE on local shop windows.
If your shop has been stickered, please accept my apology, and know that the sticker can be easily removed with soapy water. I shall have a word with W about this later.
Uncle Zoltan has spent the whole day at the front door waiting for the postman to bring a reply to his application for the post of Editor of British Vogue, and railing about the appalling state of the Royal Mail.
This in spite of it being Sunday, when there are no deliveries.
No one is prepared to mention this to Uncle Z for fear of a good stinging!
If your shop has been stickered, please accept my apology, and know that the sticker can be easily removed with soapy water. I shall have a word with W about this later.
Uncle Zoltan has spent the whole day at the front door waiting for the postman to bring a reply to his application for the post of Editor of British Vogue, and railing about the appalling state of the Royal Mail.
This in spite of it being Sunday, when there are no deliveries.
No one is prepared to mention this to Uncle Z for fear of a good stinging!
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