Wilson was still a bit unsettled by his odyssey through the dark tunnels when we sat down with our Lattes and Carrot Cake in the wartime-themed café.
He took his coffee back over to the counter and asked if he could have some ant sprinkles on it, and without missing a beat the assistant replied, 'I'm sorry, ant sprinkles are still on ration — don'tcha know there's a war on?'
He had just started to relax when an email arrived, and this time it was MY turn to be upset.
Wilson consulted his iPhone and read the message aloud to me: 'It's from The Bees, New Dad — they say that the wasps have gone, though now there's a big hole in the ceiling. But not to worry, everything is alright. Apart from the hole, obviously.'
Turning his phone off, he gave me what I can only imagine was meant to be a reassuring smile.
We finished our coffees and set off to the Secret Rocket Testing Range.
After what seemed a very long time (I think I must have caught some of Wilson's unease!) we saw daylight ahead, and emerged into what I suppose was an Observation Post, empty but for a huge military searchlight.
There was a magnificent view of the jagged Needles rocks and of the lighthouse which guarded them. We spent some time admiring the vista and watching the seagulls wheel and glide effortlessly through the clear blue sky, and W played with the searchlight for a bit.
Then when we'd seen enough, Wilson asked where the exit was. His face fell as I said we'd have to go back the way we'd come.
He remarked it was a shame Dennis couldn't be with us, as he was very interested in tunnels and history… and probably wasn't scared of the dark…
As we descended into the darkness, I could sense in Wilson a growing unease, and as we stood at the foot of the stairs waiting for our eyes to grow used to the dim light, he remarked that he was very glad Antony and TT had not accompanied us.
'They're not as brave as me,' he explained as he slipped his paw into my hand and gripped it tightly.
I think the difference between these tunnels and Ironbridge's famous Tar Tunnel is that, where that was a single straight structure, here there are many turns and corners where a bogeyman might hide before jumping out at him.
Walking through the descending shaft, W sang tunelessly under his breath The Jam song 'Going Underground' — perhaps in an effort to control his nerves, or maybe to drown out the echoing sounds of distant voices and footsteps that ricocheted eerily off the walls…
Wilson is a vegetarian and a pacifist — 'I'm a Lover, New Dad, not a Fighter!' he sometimes tells me, apropos of nothing at all.
But like many small boys he is also very interested in guns, and on our way to the tunnels this ancient cast-iron cannon caught his eye.
He spent a few minutes examining it closely and climbing all over it (narrowly avoiding getting his head stuck in the barrel and a claw trapped in the touch-hole) before we again headed towards the tunnels.
Following our recent chat about diabetes, he confided that he has decided to donate all his left-over rock and sweets to The Bees.
This is good news as they are constitutionally suited to eating sugar. Also, they will guard it fiercely — thus preventing me from eating any when I know I shouldn't!
Now, having reached the tunnel entrance, Wilson led the way down a narrow iron spiral staircase into the depths of the earth; from brilliant sunshine, we were suddenly engulfed in darkness…
Once we arrived at The Needles we headed first for the Old Battery.
Wilson said he didn't see the point of OLD batteries, and couldn't we have NEW batteries instead, but in fact, as I explained to him, The Battery is a Victorian Fort looking out over the Solent.
It was used in both World Wars, and has a museum showing how the first soldiers lived there, and some remnants of WW2… including the Secret Rocket Testing Range!
Also, there are tunnels leading down through the cliffs to a lookout post right by the lighthouse… and there is little that Wilson enjoys more than a good tunnel. He STILL talks about our visit to The Tar Tunnel in Ironbridge, and that was years ago!
I think we'll start off in the tunnels…
Today we are on our way to The Needles — this is a brilliant place and Wilson will LOVE it there!
• There's a lighthouse on huge jagged rocks, and you can take a boat out there for a really close look;
• An exciting 'ski-lift' to carry you down to the beach;
• A rocket testing base you can go inside;
• Coloured sand you can make into your own souvenirs;
• And a fairground!
I can't decide which he'll love most!
But first a holiday tradition must be performed, where W chooses a new
Bucket and Spade set.
At home the spare bedroom is half-full of previous
holidays' Bucket and Spades, but W 'needs' a new set for the Isle of
Wight.
Several of Wilson's friends have have been in touch with me expressing concern about his level of sugar consumption, because anteaters are vulnerable to diabetes.
Over our drink we had a serious talk about this, and he's agreed to cut down. When we finished, he said, 'You'll be telling me next that Gin isn't good for me, New Dad! Hahaha!'
This seemed to be an ideal opportunity for a discussion about reducing his alcohol intake… but we were interrupted by a train-whistle sound from his iPhone.
W picked it up and found an email marked URGENT. 'It's from The Bees, New Dad.' he told be. 'They say that the loft has been invaded by Wasps, but not to worry because they've got everything under control.'
Hmm. I think it's inevitable that I should worry a little bit...
