A new career move?

Yesterday Wilson saw a poster advertising a psychic medium. He was very interested in the concept, and last night he asked me whether it's genuine, as he'd like to speak with his Great Great […] Grandfather, Alberto Victor Gutiérrez-López. 

I explained to him why I think psychic mediumship is not a genuine phenomenon but merely a clever con trick… and how I think it's done. 

Far from being disappointed that he can't speak to his ancestor, W is delighted, as he's sure this is something he can do. 

Wilson Vermilingua The Psychic Anteater.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 

Final preparations

Wilson has been fine-tuning his plans for the Red Carpet Premiere of Titanic: The Film. He has sent invitations to the Mayor of Uckfield, James Cameron (not David!), all the movers and shakers in the local Arts scene and (in spite of the recent unpleasantness when they accused him in print of being a sheep rustler) the local press. He tells me that there will be ant-based snacks a-plenty, and the Ant Wine will flow like water.

It should be quite an event!

Polling Station confusion

Ant Wars II:

Wilson has never struck me as a very political animal, so I was quite surprised this morning when he asked me to give him a lift to the Polling Station. 

There are three problems to this:
   1) he is not registered to vote;
   2) I'm not sure anteaters can register to vote and;
   3) there are no elections in our district today. 

But I was curious to know why W wanted to vote. I asked him about it, and he told me that he wanted to cast his vote for 'that nice Mr Cameron'. 

I was deeply shocked as I'd always assumed that, in spite of his capitalist tendencies, if anything W would be a bit of a socialist. 

After some discussion it emerged that there was some confusion in his mind between James Cameron (top film maker and W's hero) and David Cameron (posh bloke who doesn't know the price of milk). 

After we'd straightened that out, he said not to bother registering him to vote. 

Premiere preparations

Wilson's birthday draws ever closer. Although he'll be five, this will be his first ever birthday, so I want it to be a good one. I've bought him a few things, plus I'm planning a Big Surprise. W seems to respond well to big surprises, whereas I always regard them as cataclysmic tribulations!

W, meanwhile, is preparing for the Red Carpet Premiere of Titanic: The Film, even though there has been no interest shown by any of the many Hollywood executives he has approached. Now he says that an Art Cinema release would be altogether more appropriate anyway.

Tour Guide training programme

There is now nothing I don't know about my garden shed, its history and contents. It turns out that Wilson was not so much rehearsing giving his guided tours as training Antony and me to conduct them. 

I don't know what W is thinking of charging for entry to his Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff, but with all due respect, if Antony was my tour guide I would feel I had overpaid; Antony is, after all, only a small stuffed toy.

CHECK THIS OUT! 

What has Wilson Vermilingua OBE been doing this month? Have you missed anything? I've just uploaded the fourth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: APRIL 2012. 

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to, as he puts it, "Go Totally Pandemic!". 

I think he means 'viral'.

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_apr_2012

Guided tour

Wilson is waiting for several Hollywood executives to return his calls. He is also grounded for his fly-posting exploit. 

However, he is utilising his time at home profitably by rehearsing his tours of The Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff. 

He does this by repeatedly giving me and Antony(!) a guided tour of what used to be known simply as The Shed. By now, there is not much that I don't know about the history of the shed and its contents… but at least he is waiving the admission charges for Antony and me.

Fly-posting...

Wilson snuck out last night and fly-posted The Picture House with adverts for his film. He's hoping that once the cinema-going public sees the posters and becomes aware of his film there will be a groundswell of opinion demanding a showing of Titanic: The Film at local cinemas. 

Reluctantly, I've grounded him.