The UK has been baking under a harsh and pitiless sun for weeks now, with constant health warnings being issued about not venturing outside between 11am and 3pm.
Yesterday that ended, with a fearsome electrical storm and 89mm (3½”) of torrential, pelting rain falling in little more than an hour!
I hurried back to the bar to comfort Wilson, lest he be frightened by the thunder, but I needn’t have worried – I found him sleeping soundly.
Or to use the correct medical term, Passed Out.
I went to settle his bar tab, and the size of it assured me that at least, despite the heat, he was well hydrated…
With the temperature today set to reach 38°C (almost 100°F) Wilson has declared that it is too hot for normal holiday activities.
‘It’s even hotter than Costa Rica, New Dad!’ he exclaimed. ‘This unrelenting heat is totes doing my nut in!’
He popped Antony and TT into the MiniBar to keep them cool, and headed down to the hotel bar.
Here he asked the barman whether he could borrow an ice bag and a mini fan, and ordered a Mojito with Extra Ice. And Ants.
Then he made his way, with the ice bag balanced precariously on his head, to a cool corner of the Bar.
While he wasn’t looking, I had a quiet word with the barman asking him, when Wilson ordered cocktails, to only put alcohol into every third or fourth one…
Everyone is safe – please stop worrying!
I couldn’t bear seeing Wilson so down, so in the middle of the night I carried him, still asleep, out of his bed to the car, along with Antony and Tiny Toy, and drove with them down to Weymouth.
I left a note for The Bees, explaining what I’d done… but while I was unpacking a moment ago I found it in my suitcase; in my haste I must have accidentally packed it!
I’ve phoned home and put everyone’s mind at rest, and I can only apologise for any distress…
Anyway, Wilson is still sleeping – as soon as he wakes up I’ll tell him: we’re on holiday!
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*Mea Culpa = My Bad in Latin – don't say this stuff isn't educational!
The Police have been back again to search the house, but to no avail.
They’ve made a bit of a mess with their Fingerprint Powder and Police Tape – in fact Polly is stuck to the tumble dryer by her antennae with crime scene tape as we speak and we don’t know whether it would be illegal to try to cut her free.
There’s still been no Ransom Demand, and Uncle Zoltan thinks this means the most likely explanation is that they’ve been Abducted By Aliens!
We just hope that if that’s the case, the Aliens don’t use their… um, Probe!
Just in case it’s NOT aliens, please keep a look out for an Anteater accompanied by two Toy Anteaters and an Elderly Man!
Oh, Polly says that Wilson’s New Dad prefers to be described as ‘late middle aged’ but I think we all know what that really means! ;o)
Hello, We are Polly and Billi The Bees and this is our Emergency Blog!
We know it’s not the first of the month when we usually Blog, but this is a PROPER EMERGENCY!
We went round to Wilson’s tumble dryer last night to see if he was alright and ask whether he’d like some Honey on Toast, and when we got there we immediately saw that he wasn’t there!
We asked everyone if they’d seen Wilson, and while we were doing that we noticed that Antony and Tiny Toy are missing too!
Although Wilson has been very depressed lately, we’re sure he wouldn’t do anything silly, specially not if Antony and TT were with him, so we think he must have been Kidnapped!
Or possibly Anteaternapped!
Obviously we telephoned the police straight away, but they haven’t found them yet.
We’ve made a MISSING POSTER – please let us know if you’d like a copy of it to put up in your window or at work.
