Scientific Method

The bees demanded to know why their child Johnson had been excluded from the Bee survey.

'Well, that's because Johnson is a ladybird, not a bee,' Wilson answered reasonably. 

Polly and Billi immediately retorted, in unison, 'Johnson is a bee by adoption!'

Reluctantly, Wilson amended his entry, muttering that this made a mockery of the scientific method.

Just then sTony and sToneye shuffled in and asked whether they could be honorary bees as they'd never been in a survey before...

If you would like to take part in the survey, head to http://greatbritishbeecount.co.uk/ but I wouldn't let the bees see what you put on the questionnaire. 

The Great British Bee Survey

Lyn, one of Wilson's Facebook friends, suggested that he might like to take part in Friends of the Earth's Great British Bee Count. Since this would involve a lot of sitting around in the garden he embraced the idea, grabbing his iPad and making himself comfortable in the sunshine. 

Polly, Billi and Johnson came over to see what he was up to, and W immediately counted them: 'One, two Hairy-Footed Garden Bees — check!' 

Outrage ensued as Billi said she wanted to be described as 'Young, pretty with luxuriant fur, fun-loving and GSOH.' 

'And in a relationship!' Polly added, pointedly. 'Also, definitely NOT hairy-footed!'

'Oh no,' Billi agreed, 'NOT hairy-footed. We both shave our feet weekly and before we go clubbing!'

They both then demanded to know why W hadn't included Johnson in the count.

Wilson develops his invention still further!

After accidentally hypnotising himself several times yesterday, once I'd carried him unconscious to his bed Wilson dreamed of another ingenious adaptation for his New Clock invention! 

He's sitting in the conservatory making notes before he forgets his dream. His clock contraptions are so top secret, he won't even tell me or Antony how they work.

In other news, he has decided NOT to market his own range of relaxation tapes, lest everyone who buys them starts dreaming about brilliant inventions themselves. He wants to keep all the best inventions for himself, to make him rich and famous! 

Seems fair enough to me. 

Also, too few people still have cassette players for his tapes to have been great sellers…

Wilson records a self-help tape...

Wilson was so impressed by the relaxation tape he bought for Diesel that he has decided to record one himself. He told me that he would sell it on eBay and that it would hypnotise people who bought it, enabling them to achieve a state of deep, deep relaxation.

Unfortunately, whenever he starts recording he hypnotises himself into a state of deep, deep relaxation.

Well, I suppose that proves it's effective!

Gardening on a summer's day...

Watched by an admiring crowd of spectators, Wilson has planted up all of his garden centre purchases, and I must admit they do look lovely. He has done well!

He plans to spend the rest of the day practicing with his yo-yo, today being World Yo-Yo Day.

How does he know these things? I think Google has a lot to answer for!

The hardest part is yet to come...

Having paid for the plants, the next problem was fitting them all into the car. 

Of course even when we get them home, the real trick will be to get Wilson to plant them, rather than sit around drinking Ant Gin-based cocktails in the sun while talking about planting them…

Wilson goes shopping!

It takes only a couple of sunny days for Wilson to be well-and-truly bitten by the gardening bug, so today we headed off for a (surprisingly expensive) trip to the local Garden Centre.

I'm just really hoping that this isn't a portent of one of W's infamous Charity Garden Open Days…