By leaning over the barriers and peering closely at the displays, Biro has observed that most of the toys he's seen are marked Made In China.
Therefore, he has concluded, they are not actually made here, and Father Xmas's Xmas Wonderland is nothing but a front.
'Probably for drug distribution!' he whispered to Wilson.
After a moment's thought, he added, 'or possibly Elf-smuggling…'
This was too much for Wilson – taking Byron by the shoulders he looked into his eyes and said sternly, 'Look here, Biro – enough with the Conspiracy Theories. Father Xmas is a magic old man; the Elves are magic, and so are the Flying Reindeer.'
Byron gulped loudly – this was the first he'd heard of the reindeer.
Wilson continued, 'Come away from the Elf Village, sit down and listen to me – I'm going to tell you the Real, True and Authentic Meaning of Xmas…'
Soon the boys arrived at the little village where the Elves live. Byron was not impressed.
'Honestly,' he remarked to Wilson, 'this village is like a shanty town and the dwellings are little better than tinsel-covered hovels!'
Then, while Wilson looked on in horror, Byron waded through the snow and knocked on the front door of one of the little houses.
A cheerful-looking Elf answered.
Byron asked him if he didn't feel oppressed by being made to work under such tyrannical and inadequate conditions by this so-called Father Xmas, but the elf was puzzled by the question.
'Well, of course not!' he replied, chuckling. 'We Elves are Magic, our village is Magic, our work is Magic, everything here is Magic – we laugh and sing all day long. All night long too, sometimes…'
Byron asked if they had a Company Benefits Scheme, and whether they received Double Time for all-night singing duties, but the Elf had gone.
Returning to Wilson's side, B whispered, 'They're too scared to complain – they think I'm an Informer working for this "Father Xmas" despot!'
Wilson grasped him firmly by the paw and led him away…
The boys spent some time watching the Elves making and packing Xmas presents.
Wilson excitedly explained that this is the actual workshop where the elves spend all year making toys for Good Children to receive at Xmas.
Byron said that many of the Elves appeared to be well past retirement age, and voiced some concerns about Health and Safety, citing the unguarded machinery Drive Belts.
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Wilson's Blog at https://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/ has now been read more than 60,000 times!
SIXTY THOUSAND!!!!!
Byron is still a bit confused and apprehensive about the whole Xmas thing – on the way to meet Father Xmas, he won't let go of Wilson's paw!
I'm curious to know whether, with Wilson out of the way, Uncle Zoltan is still playing Bob Dylan's dreadful Christmas In the Heart on repeat…
I will admit I've been a little bit worried about how to keep two boisterous and overexcited anteaters occupied between now and Xmas, which is still over two weeks away.
After just a few days, I'm beginning to understand why their Mum, Mrs V, is such a great Gin Enthusiast...
Then I had an idea – I'll take them to see Father Xmas!
They'll get to see the elves making the presents, meet the Great Man himself and come away with a small toy each to play with – problem solved!
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*Santa Claus
