Wilson has received a letter in the mail, containing a second Picture Swap card from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I think he's pleased with the card, and flattered that the Spaghetti Monster remembered him… but I think he wished it had arrived in a big cardboard box that he could have been mysterious about.
The card seems to glow in the dark, which Wilson says is due to it's Pastafarian Holiness, but I suspect is due to some kind of luminous chemical. I shall insist that Wilson washes his paws before eating.
He's sitting in his library admiring his swap card, while still brooding about what could possibly have been in Nërp's Mystery Box…
If the picture on the card is an accurate depiction of the FSM, I think he'd do well to employ a stand-in, as Pope Alexander VI did for Jesus.
This is why in all Western paintings, JC look like a handsome Italian – they're paintings of the Pope's son, Cesare!
Early this morning a van stopped outside the house and a few moments later there was a knock at the door – it was a courier delivering a large box addressed to Nërp!
Wilson is a bit* put out that (for once!) the delivery was not for him.
Nërp is being very secretive about the box, carrying it into the bathroom and locking himself in before opening it.
Poor W is beside himself with curiosity, but trying supremely hard not to let it show…
_________
*Extremely
Wilson has been VERY busy today – he's converted the Guest Bedroom into his LIBRARY, saying that he needs somewhere to do his thinking and inventing.
I thought we needed somewhere for our guests to sleep, but I was apparently wrong.
As it turns out, I am usually* wrong…
Nërp is helping him move the books while Antony is assisting with arranging them in the right order according to some arcane system known only to him.
Tiny Toy is either sleeping or trying to think of some 'library' jokes (it's not easy to tell the difference with TT), while Uncle Zoltan (who once dated a book worm – literally, a worm who lived in a book) is trying to explain the Dewey Decimal System to anyone who will listen.
No-one is listening, so he's explaining at the Top Of His Voice! 📣
*Always
Nërp is in the living room doing some 'private research'.
I'm not sure how Private it will be, because Wilson is also in there gathering together every book in the house, for reasons which – for the time being at least – he is unwilling to discuss…
While the wedding guests were arriving, Wilson suddenly sat bolt upright, almost dropping his bottle of tequila, when he saw Cara Delevigne arriving in her black suit and top hat!
He thought she was some sort of time-shifting doppelgänger of his old love, gamine chanteuse and Eurovision runner-up Nina Morato, whose portrait has adorned his bedroom wall for many years…
'Such a clever idea, writing her initials on her wrist, in case she forgets them!' he told me later, 'I think I might try that myself…'
Later there was an awkward incident during the service – the part where the vicar asks, 'If any of you know cause, or just impediment, why these two Persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace…'
Uncle Zoltan jumped up and shouted, 'I do! I know of Cause or Just Impediment! But I shan't tell ye what it is – ye'll all find out soon enough…'
No one took any notice, because Uncle Z always does that at weddings – he can't help himself. But I think he was labouring under the same misapprehension Wilson once held: that the people on TV can hear what we're saying if we shout loudly enough!
