09/11/2013

Star Wars

All thoughts of his novel have been temporarily thrown aside as Wilson has read that the Producers of 'Star Wars' are holding Open Auditions today in Bristol, with London to follow on November 23 and 24. The Producers are looking for a handsome, smart and athletic male to cast as the lead character called William. 
'I am a handsome, smart and athletic male!' he declared. 'My name is Wilson — that's LIKE "William"! Also, "Star Wars" is my favourite film — I shall be a shoe-in! I hope my Leading Lady is pretty!'
Following the aftermath of him watching 'Moon' Wilson has been banned from seeing any Science Fiction movies, including 'Star Wars,' but he's pleaded to be allowed to download them onto the iPad, and I've agreed.

He's asked me to call him William from now until the audition date, to help him get into character. 


08/11/2013

Wilson tries to promote his new book

This morning Wilson, hung-over and dehydrated, looks a lot less Noël Coward and a lot more Hunter S Thompson as he sips his triple espresso with paracetamol. 
'I've still got Writers' Block, New Dad,' he complained. 'Also my Literary Agent couldn't get me onto The Alan Titchmarsh Show, nor Loose Women. Not even The One Show.'
'Really?' I asked, trying to sound surprised.
'She said the best she could do was get me an appearance on Dickinson's Real Deal, as long as I had something old to sell.'

He buried his face in his paws and sighed.


07/11/2013

Writers' Block

Wilson, after starting work yesterday on his novel 'Postcards From The Zoo,' is now suffering from Writers' Block. He's spent all day in the tumble dryer with his Editor (Antony), Researcher (Tiny Toy) and a bottle of Ant Gin. Occasionally he will stick his head out to shout, 'The Pressure! It's Intolerable, Dear Boy!'
Meanwhile his Literary Agent (Polly-B) is on the phone trying to arrange an appearance for him on The Alan Titchmarsh Show to promote his book. 



Hopefully after he's finished writing it. 

06/11/2013

Noel Coward

Unable to sleep after the excitement of last night's bonfire, Wilson started reading Carrie 'Princess Leia' Fisher's book 'Postcards From The Edge.' This morning he has decided to write a book based on the postcards he sent me while on holiday with his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua.
He's working on it now, and tells me it will be a 'funny, brash and biting novel called "Postcards From The Zoo" and will apparently be quite like "Postcards From The Edge," but with more pictures.' He is confident that it will be 'a sure-fire best seller, as long as it gets the right promotion.'
He's writing it in his dressing-gown because he thinks it makes him look, as he puts it, 'well Noël Coward.' I just hope he doesn't start smoking a pipe and calling me 'Dear Boy!'

At least this should keep him out of mischief for a couple of weeks, maybe longer!


05/11/2013

Bonfire Night!


Wilson is in the kitchen finishing up his Pumpkin Soup With Ants and home-made Ant Croutons after what he is calling 'The Best Bonfire Night Ever!'


04/11/2013

Wilson builds his bonfire

Wilson came home yesterday with a lot of wood for his Firework Night Bonfire — more than I expected. 
Much, MUCH more than I expected. 
Still, he's stacked it neatly in the garden, so I suppose it's alright. 

I just hope he doesn't make his bonfire too big, what with the FBU strikes…


03/11/2013

Bonfire Night preparations

The house seems very quiet now that Byron has gone home. I enjoyed having him here, and I think it was good for Wilson… but I can begin to see why their mother, Mrs Vermilingua, gets through so much Gin!

Anyway, the house is quieter still at present as Wilson has gone out to gather wood for his Fireworks Night bonfire.