28/01/2017

FEBRUARY 2017

Here, just in the nick of time, is the February page of your free 2017 Anteater Calendar.

Uncle Zoltan has been waiting anxiously by the front door all day for the postman to bring a reply to his job application for the post of Editor of UK Vogue magazine.


Wilson has told me he'll be popping out as soon as darkness falls to put up a few of his 'UCKFIELD POUND WELCOME HERE' stickers on the windows of local shops.


So, just another normal day in Uckfield...


Oh, Wilson has just reminded me: members of the Wilson Vermilingua Appreciation Society Facebook Group will receive a small* FREE GIFT later today!


*Really, very small. Almost undetectable.



27/01/2017

VOGUE MAGAZINE

Following the fashion advice he gave me a couple of days ago, Uncle Zoltan is applying to be Editor of English Vogue Magazine, now that the position has become vacant. 

In other news, one or two* people have reported problems spending their Uckfield Pounds — apparently a few local traders are reluctant to accept the U£ as legal currency, and the rest say they don't even know what the U£ is.


In response, Wilson has designed a handy and eyecatching "Uckfield £ Welcome Here" sticker that local shopkeepers can put in their windows.


Also, don't worry if you're waiting for February's page of your 2017 Anteater Calendar — Wilson has assured me that it will be ready 'soon'.


*Everyone



25/01/2017

FASHION ADVICE

Just as I was settling down to breakfast this morning, I was surprised by the arrival of Uncle Zoltan, looking like a miniature Gok Wan.

He told me he'd been thinking about what he called my 'look and feel' or expérience d'utilisateur as he put it, which he considered would be greatly enhanced if I upgraded my Designer Stubble to a full Hipster Beard. This, he said, would transform me into a total Babe-magnet!


Tempting as this idea is, the day has not yet dawned when I take fashion advice from a misanthropic hornet... although, he does look rather dashing in that top hat of his — and I think I could really work a topper!


Hmmm... thinking about it, maybe he said 'Bee-magnet', not Babe-magnet...



23/01/2017

SPECS APPEAL

In the event, Billi was WAY too excited to wait until 1 Feb to show you her new glasses. 

Here you can see her checking out her new look for increased gravitas and erudition, while Polly gazes at her lovingly...



22/01/2017

FREE MONEY FOR YOU!

As you may have guessed, it was Billi's new glasses that arrived yesterday — but she has announced that, although she has tried them on, she won't be revealing them to an eagerly waiting world until the next Bees' Blog on 1 February.

Having never before seen a bee wearing glasses I was a bit disappointed, although I do appreciate that when one starts wearing spectacles for the first time, one will naturally feel quite self-conscious.


Meanwhile, Wilson has what he describes as a 'MASSIVE FREE GIFT' for everyone: FREE MONEY!


Here is a sheet of his local currency, Uckfield Pounds, which he says you can print out and spend, 'just to kick-start the banknotes and ensure their popularity.'


His only stipulation is that you shouldn't print more than U£180 (two sheets) lest you start an inflationary spiral and the notes become devalued, thereby wrecking the local economy.


There you go, then: U£180 FREE for you to spend in Uckfield's local shops. 


If you can find any shops that will accept them...