The Olympics!

Following yesterday's 'near miss', Wilson is keeping Antony very close to him today. 

W says that the teddy-bear-building robot is now 'history - he's toast!' and he will dismantle it 'when he gets time'. 

He doesn't have time today, though, because he is preparing for The Olympic Games. He's pretty sure that the 'pastoral green-and-pleasant-land' opening ceremony tonight will include ant eaters, and he wants to see whether there's anyone he knows.

He has also got it into his head, probably through watching too much Big Brother, that Pillow Fighting is an Olympic sport. 

Calamity has been narrowly averted!

Late last night the robot was blundering round the house, knocking things over and looking for things to make teddy-bears out of, when it caught its foot in a hole in the living room carpet (it had cut the hole earlier, while trying to make the carpet in to a teddy bear) tripped over and landed on Antony! Before Wilson or I could reach the robot he had started to make Antony into a teddy-bear!

W immediately punched the Emergency Shut-Down button on the back of the robot's head, and wrenched Antony from its grip. 

I think Antony will be fine, although he may need a small kapok transfusion and stitches, but Wilson is blaming himself. "I can't have adequately implemented Asimov's First Law of Robotics" he groaned. "I changed it to read "Sentient Being" instead of "Human Being" and the robot must have been confused by Antony.'

'Technically,' I pointed out, 'Antony isn't a sentient being. I fact he is…' but I was silenced by Wilson's stare.

'He is sentient to me!' he said, in a voice that precluded any further discussion.

The robot has now had its batteries removed and has been put in the Wilson Vermilingua Museum of Old Stuff in the garden.

The robot starts work

There are a few teething problems with the robot: it's blundering around the house knocking things over and trying to make bears out of anything it finds. So far it has tried to make bears out of three cushions, a pair of my jeans, the contents of the washing machine and a cabbage. 

Each time it finishes making a 'bear' (most of the results so far have more closely resembled camels or tree-stumps) Wilson will examine it closely, tell the robot that it is doing 'really well' then connect it to the iPad for minor reprogramming. 

W says the robot is improving all the time and that it 'will be a great help building the Easter Island heads.' 

I had so hoped W had forgotten about the Easter Island heads. 

Billy and the Torch

We watched EastEnders together last night. Wilson as usual had been dozing fitfully, but I suddenly noticed that he was wide awake, staring at the screen through narrowed eyes. 

'Billy Mitchell' he said to me, 'that feckless nere-do-well is carrying the Olympic Torch! On National Television!' (W has started calling tv "National Television" because he's watching altogether too much Big Brother!)

'That singer/dancer Will.I.Am has carried the torch, even though he can't sing or dance, and now that pathetic inadequate loser Billy Mitchell has carried it,' he continued, 'While I, talented entrepreneur, philosopher, film-maker and personality, have been denied the opportunity to carry it! It's an absolute disgrace, and I shall write to the BBC and LOCOG to complain about it."

I explained that 'Billy Mitchell' was just a fictional character in a soap opera, and it didn't really mean anything.

W frowned at me and said, 'And Will.I.Am?'

I had no answer for him, and he held his head in his paws.

Recovering from the weekend...

I think the Art Trail weekend must have really taken it out of Wilson, as he's still asleep in the tumble dryer with his buddy Antony. He's probably dreaming about being Mayor and making Antony a councillor. I wonder what the rest of the council would make of having a stuffed toy as one of their number…  

However, with W not around for the moment it's been easier for me to arrange our surprise getaway; we're going to spend a few days in Ironbridge, birthplace of the Industrial Revolution. 

The Art Trail Weekend

I think Wilson enjoyed the Art Trail Launch Party, although he was predictably disappointed by the lack of party games and a children's entertainer. His evening took a turn for the better, though, when he met The Mayor again, right in front of my stand!

W discussed his plan to run for Mayor himself, and the current Mayor very generously wished him good luck, but warned W that it was a harder job than it looked!

Yesterday at the Art Trail was a VERY long one, and W spent most of it asleep under the table. However, I think I'm just showing a profit on the weekend, and I plan to spend my earnings on a short holiday for both of us.