Billy and the Torch

We watched EastEnders together last night. Wilson as usual had been dozing fitfully, but I suddenly noticed that he was wide awake, staring at the screen through narrowed eyes. 

'Billy Mitchell' he said to me, 'that feckless nere-do-well is carrying the Olympic Torch! On National Television!' (W has started calling tv "National Television" because he's watching altogether too much Big Brother!)

'That singer/dancer Will.I.Am has carried the torch, even though he can't sing or dance, and now that pathetic inadequate loser Billy Mitchell has carried it,' he continued, 'While I, talented entrepreneur, philosopher, film-maker and personality, have been denied the opportunity to carry it! It's an absolute disgrace, and I shall write to the BBC and LOCOG to complain about it."

I explained that 'Billy Mitchell' was just a fictional character in a soap opera, and it didn't really mean anything.

W frowned at me and said, 'And Will.I.Am?'

I had no answer for him, and he held his head in his paws.