The fact that Nërp has been digging round-the-clock for five days and still uncovered not a single BitCoin has not discouraged Wilson.
Though of course, it's not Wilson who's actually doing the digging – he's only watching.
As darkness fell W popped into his Museum and came out with a hurricane lamp, so enabling mining to continue through the night.
He settled down at the side of the pit, warming his paws on the lantern, while Nërp continued to excavate without complaint...
Just after midnight I took out a scarf and a mug of hot chocolate for Wilson, who's dogged determination and optimism were by then just beginning to desert him.
In addition, Nërp was protesting that he was hungry and needed recharging – he said that if he didn't get some Volts soon, he'd be too weak to climb out of the pit.
In view of this, there seemed little alternative but to suspend Mining Operations for the night...
Nërp the Robot has been digging in the back garden since last Monday, so over breakfast I asked Wilson how he was getting on... and whether we were rich yet.
He clapped a paw to his head and exclaimed, 'Nërp – I'd forgotten all about him!'
Following W out to the site of the 'V-Coin Mine' I beheld a massive pit – a chasm, a crater, a crevasse – in the middle of the lawn. Surrounded by huge spoil heaps.
And right at the bottom of the hole – barely visible – was Nërp, humming happily to himself while he dug.
Not humming a tune, exactly, just making a humming sound. Perhaps he's overheating? Whatever, if he goes much deeper, he's going to need a canary!
Wilson peered into the V-Coin Bucket expectantly. 'Well?' I asked.
'Nothing!' he replied, shaking his head despondently.
Hello! We are Polly and Billi The Bees, and this is our Guest Blog!
There are some people who can't wait to open their mouth and start talking – then they're as surprised as everyone else by what comes out!
Luckily, though, not everyone is like Boris Johnson or President Trump – some people consider what they're about to say very carefully, and our friend Neil the Sloth is one of those people.
About a week ago Neil took everyone by surprise by suddenly saying 'Happy', so since then Billi and I have been taking it in turns to sit with him to see whether he was going to say anything else... and he has!
Yesterday morning, right out of the blue, he said, 'Chris.'
Now we don't want to jump to any conclusions, but we think he may be in the middle of saying 'Happy Christmas'!
If we're right, then isn't that a lovely thing to say?
It may be over a month late, but that's the speed Sloths work at, and there's nothing wrong with that – although Wilson sometimes gets a bit impatient with Neil when he's trying to have a conversation with him...
So, we've been The Bees and we'll see you all again next month, when we'll probably bring you more terrible news about Pesticides and so on.
Until then, BEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD, and Happy February to you all!
Oh – and Happy Chris from Neil!
Wilson, having started his BitCoin Mining Operation, had intended to just sit back and wait until he became rich... but he got bored with waiting and having nothing to do.
Consequently, he has produced a free poster for you to print out and stick on your wall – although I would personally recommend using something like Blu-Tack so you can easily take it down again when you get tired of it.
As for the poster's message, 'Life's More Fun When You're An Anteater' – I can vouch for the truth of that. I don't think it's so much that anteaters are especially fun-loving, I suspect it's more that, because they're so cute, they get away with more...
Wilson has taken Nërp into the garden to explain his duties, which apparently consist entirely of 'V-Coin Mining and not killing anyone.'
I'd been hoping he might help out with the household chores, maybe wash the car occasionally, but apparently not – I'll have a word with W later.
Before starting work, Nërp enquired what Virtual Coins actually look like – Wilson told him vaguely that it's difficult to say, what with them being Virtual, but that he'll know them when he finds them, and to just put them in the bucket.
Wilson invited Nërp into the living room so he could introduce him to the family – the android shuffled slowly and uncertainly into the room and smiled.
Wilson announced, 'Everyone – this is Nërp! Nërp, meet everyone!' in a cheerful, hearty voice.
Those members of the Welcoming Committee who had ever watched Robot Wars or Robocop – or remembered Wilson's previous robot – grew visibly nervous...
