EXTREME ANTICIPATION

Next Monday non-essential shops will be allowed to open – including the new Everything Ant shop in the High Street.

The sense of expectation and suspense is palpable, as Wilson and Byron speculate on what wonders they will find therein, what essentials they had hitherto not known existed but now they can not live without.

  

They are both so overexcited that I'd had no idea how to occupy them until Monday… until I saw that a Drive-In Cinema has been set up in the village park!

  

Unfortunately, it's showing Trolls World Tour, which sounds like a nightmare – but a nightmare I'm willing to endure if the lads enjoy it.

PRODUCTION LINE

Wilson has decided that when he is finally able to reopen his Art Gallery to the public the ideal Opening Event would be a Retrospective of work by his brother Byron.

I think the reasons for this are twofold;

1) after a period of deprivation the public will be hungry to see new art, and

2) as the works are all painted by his brother, he won't have to pay for them.

Since the ban on the opening of museums and galleries could be lifted imminently and without notice, he is trying to persuade Byron to paint faster, so as to have a substantial body of work ready to go at a moment's notice.

Byron is a bit reluctant, insisting that art can't be hurried and must proceed at its own pace, but despite his misgivings has promised to do his best.

At Wilson's request, Nërp has made several more canvases and easels and set up a production line in his workshop.

Nërp has agreed to Byron's use of his workshop only subject to Byron not touching anything because he's in the process of refurbishing it so it's a bit more comfortable and luxurious.

More comfortable and luxurious for a Robot, that is…

MY ARTISTIC HERO

The Museum of the Moon was surprisingly popular, so Wilson has been devoting a bit more time to his little Art Gallery. 

 

At long last, he has 'acquired' something I can really relate to – a work by my artistic hero Mark Boyle!

 

I first became aware of artist Mark Boyle when he was doing Liquid Light Shows at various London underground clubs – UFO, Middle Earth etc – in the 60s.

 

My acquaintance was renewed when I stumbled across his Journey to the Surface of the Earth show at (I think) the ICA, where I was transfixed.

 

The entire Boyle Family has made a lifelong work of (among other things) Earthprobes: scrutinising and replicating fragments of reality, cloning randomly chosen little areas of ground using fibreglass and original found materials and presenting them back to the viewer as three-dimensional constructions indistinguishable from the real thing.

 

Byron and I stood in front of this work and admired it at some length, and I sincerely thanked Wilson for allowing me to see it.

 

Later, gazing out of the living room window, I noticed a large hole in the road at the bottom of the drive which I'd never noticed before!

 

Surely he hasn't…

_____________

 

There's a lovely film about Mark Boyle here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwFaGh_QpDM

 

THE ONE WHERE sTONY GOES TO THE DENTIST

Since late March, all dental surgeries have remained closed except for the most urgent of emergencies.

 

However since Monday this week, Dentists have been able to choose to re-open if they can do so safely, although they are able to treat far fewer patients per day because of the extra care that must be taken. Treatment is also a lot more expensive than previously due to the massively increased price of PPE.

 

It's time for sTony to have his regular Scale and Polish at the dentist – he doesn't get cavities or decay, but moss tends to grow between his teeth, and nobody wants a Green Smile.

 

Byron and Wilson have taken both him and sToneye round to the dentist – obviously sToneye has no need of dental care, but he and sTony have developed quite a co-dependency over the years, and can't bear to be separated.

 

I suggested to Wilson that while he's there he and B might have their annual inspection too; anteaters famously don't have any teeth, but it doesn't hurt to have their mouths checked out for trapped ant debris and maybe have their tongues cleaned.

 

Anteaters – indeed, non-human animals in general – are not covered by the NHS subsidised fees, but I think dental care is important and worth paying for.

———

In other news, Zoos and Wildlife Parks are due to reopen next Monday – that won't please Wilson's Mum, Mrs V!

 

 

MUSEUM OF THE MOON

Although the Vermilingua Contemporary, like all museums and galleries, is temporarily closed Wilson has not abandoned it – in fact he's just told me about his latest acquisition: Luke Jerram's The Museum Of The Moon.

 

When this was on show at Rochester Cathedral I unfortunately missed the opportunity to visit because the coronavirus outbreak, so you can imagine how excited I am to have another chance to see it!

 

Wilson relieved me of another £5 admission fee (he hasn't yet introduced an annual pass) and ushered me into the gallery. 

 

I was filled with anticipation, yet puzzled, for I knew that The Museum Of The Moon is over 7 metres in diameter… considerably larger than even the longest dimension of the Vermilingua Contemporary.

 

I understood as soon as I entered the exhibition area.

 

'What do you think, New Dad?' he asked, 'It's magnificent, no?'

 

I regarded the lunar globe for some time, before replying, 'Well, yes – although I expected it to be a bit, um, BIGGER!'

 

'But this edition is animated!' he countered. 'Biro – animate the exhibit if you would be so kind.'

 

Byron stretched up to the suspended globe and poked it, whereupon it began a stately rotation on its axis.

 

'Now you're impressed, aren't you?' Wilson insisted, 'The original may have been a bit bigger, but it didn't do that!'

 

When I return to the house, I'm pretty sure I'll discover that my Lunar Globe will have disappeared from the desk in my room…

 

 

A MYSTERY SOLVED

I told you I'd find out what was going on, and I didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to do so.

 

This morning I found the torn out newspaper advert magnetted to the fridge door.

 

I can see why the boys are excited, but honestly this seems a very unlikely venture: a shop for anteaters, in a village where there are only two anteaters – I hope they haven't invested money in it!

 

Perhaps the shop expects to do a lot of mail-order and on-line sales…

 

 

NIGHTHAWKS REVISITED

This is Edward Hopper's most famous and familiar work, and I had hoped Byron would give another of his erudite critiques of Wilson's latest artistic re-creation – perhaps bring some new insights to the work – but he demurred. 

 

He modestly explained that Hopper's 1942 painting Nighthawks was so well known and familiar that he thought there was little he could add to what everyone probably already knew about it… plus (and this is probably the actual reason) he was very busy working on his next painting!

 

Wilson really enjoyed posing for this, as it gave him the opportunity to look cool and enigmatic while wearing his Leonard Cohen Fedora hat – which I imagine is why he selected to re-create this particular painting in the first place.

 

And why he's admiring his depiction in this photo…