GUERILLA PUBLICITY

Wilson was quite impressed by Nërpsy's recent work as a graffiti artist.

 

He has now commissioned him to do some advance publicity for World Anteater Day, it now being barely a week away.

 

Nërp has taken his niece Jīqìrén along 'For support', but I suspect he wants her to keep a lookout for the authorities while he's at work…

 

Back at home, where Soup Sales remain 'A bit slower than expected' Wilson is drumming up custom by belting out Food Glorious Food on his kazoo and spoons.

 

I hope he's not using the same spoons to serve up his soup… 

 

 

SOUPMOBILE

Wilson's SoupMobile has been hired and delivered and is now parked up on the front drive.

Unfortunately (aka luckily for me!) I am not insured to drive the van, so the service is perforce by collection only, which rather limits our customer base...

Wilson's original pitch was Hot Soup Delivered To Your Door, but as it's worked out the hot soup is at OUR door, and customers have to collect it themselves.

While Wilson prepares to dispense hot soup, Byron is pretending to drive the wagon – and is in charge of operating the chimes!

One or two of the neighbours, attracted by the constant, cacophonous sound of the chimes, have dropped by to complain about the noise, but Wilson has deftly converted them into customers.

Nërp has tried to sell them Nërpsy Souvenir Mugs, but so far without great success…

Business will probably improve once the weather gets a bit colder! 

 

SOUP DELIVERY

Wilson has now hired an ice-cream van for the out-of-season period so he can start a Hot Soup Delivery Service.

 

On the face of it, this seems like an excellent idea – but past experience has taught me that it will end up losing money rather than making Wilson rich.

 

I don't yet know what will go wrong, so I'll just wait and see…

 

I'm puzzled as to why Uncle Zoltan is involved in this, unless he's hoping to make a lot of 'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup' jokes!

 

Anyway, the soup arrived this morning, in massive drums. 

 

For some reason, I had expected it to arrive in individual tins, but apparently it's much cheaper when you buy it in 50-gallon drums.

 

There's no maker's name on the containers, but I'm sure* it's all legit!

—

*Really hoping 

 

 

WORLD ANTEATER DAY FREEBIES!

Actually, THREE free badges – Wilson is on Generosity Overload!
 
These badges are to help you celebrate World Anteater Day – a big event in Wilson's life ever since he first heard about it last year…
 
The usual warnings apply about getting a grown-up to help you with the cutting-out, not getting glue on your fur, in your mouth or up your nose etc.
 
I will admit I don't see the connection between the Eat More Soup badge and World Anteater Day – perhaps soup is a traditional celebratory meal for the Big Day… 

HOT SOUP TO YOUR DOOR

While Wilson was taking out the recycling, he thought he heard the distant chimes of an ice-cream van.

It was probably his imagination, but it's left him wondering where all the Ice Cream vans go in the winter.

 

He asked me whether they hibernated, but I said they were probably parked-up in a compound somewhere waiting for warmer weather.

 

Now he is leafing through an old copy of Exchange & Mart, investigating the cost of hiring an ice-cream van so he can drive it round the streets selling hot soup over the winter season.

 

When he says he can drive it round the streets I expect he means that I can drive it for him…

 

Humouring him, I asked what music he'd use for his chimes?

 

Without a moment's hesitation, he replied, 'The Soup Dragons, obviously!'

 

We were interrupted by Nërp bustling in to announce that he had sold one of his Nërpsy Souvenir Mugs.

 

'Richness and famousness are within my grasp!' he exclaimed, excitedly.

 

So, one down, 49 to go… 

 

 

🎶 I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS 🎶

Wilson is not a great lover of Mondays.

He says this is the worst Monday since last Monday…

 

NËRPSY MERCHANDISE

In the same way that Banksy sells souvenirs and prints, Nërp – or Nërpsy – has developed his own range of merchandise.

Well, I say range, but there's actually just a mug.

 

Nërp has priced these at £10 ($13.20 +p&p, €11.15 +p&p) each and, borrowing Wilson's phraseology, he says they 'Make well wicked Xmas Gifts!'

 

I wish Nërp had learned from Wilson's experience in selling MUG (Make Uckfield Great) mugs and ordered rather fewer units.

 

I'm guessing I shall be receiving at least one of these on the 25th…