To pass the time while waiting for his brother Byron to arrive, Wilson has started work on a sign for his (as-yet unbuilt) New Museum.
He says that it's 'Vital and imperative' that the signage should be ready in good time, so that he can open his Museum the moment it's completed, thus enabling him to start taking admission money immediately. How else is he to achieve 'Youngest Self-Made Billionaire' status?
I hope 'Billionaire' was a slip of the tongue – he used to want to be only a Millionaire, and that was proving impossibly difficult; I fear increasing that by a factor of a thousand might doom him to eternal disappointment.
Ms Kylie Jenner certainly has a lot to answer for…
He's quite a messy painter, but somehow he never spills any paint on what he's working on – just himself and everything else. At least this time he's working in the garden, not the living room!
Yesterday Wilson stumbled across a news item:
'Kylie Jenner named as the youngest billionaire in the world by Forbes magazine.'
It was difficult to determine which emotion was uppermost in his mind – disappointment or resentment.
'What has Kylie Jenner got that I haven't got?' he raged, 'Apart from $1Billion, obviously!'
I tried to comfort him by pointing out that Kylie was 21, so he still had several years of earning ahead of him.
'But she's a Kardashian – her entire family are millionaires!' he countered. ''Self-Made"? She probably just saved up her pocket money for a couple of weeks…'
After reflecting on the unfairness of life for a moment, he asked me, 'Um, I don't suppose you're a secret millionaire, are you New Dad?'
#Kardashian #KylieJenner #youngestbillionaire
Today is World Book Day!
Wilson loves a good book, so he's had me take this photo of him reading in his library, to show his support for this important event.
He says his favourite book is The Wilson Vermilingua Celebrity Eat-As-Much-As-You-Like Diet Book, but it is sadly out of print.
Technically, it has never been in-print, due to possible legal problems…
What's YOUR favourite book?
There's no Blog today, as such, but here is a Sneak Preview of tomorrow's date-specific blog.
Tomorrow is World Book Day, and Wilson has asked me to photograph him reading in his library to show his support for this important event.
You'll be able to see the final result tomorrow, after we've collected the picture from the photo lab in the village – assuming it comes out alright!
Wilson still hasn't located his Crown and Famous Anting Jam Jar – I've had to talk him out of phoning the Police to report them stolen…
By the time Wilson conceded that he couldn't find either his Crown or his Famous Ant Jam Jar, darkness was beginning to fall.
He went to see The Bees to ask whether he could borrow their Honey Pot, then rooted around in his tumble dryer until he located a (rather faded and torn) purple tissue-paper crown from a Xmas Cracker, grabbed his UltraBrite Military Grade Torch [flashlight] and we trudged out into the garden.
'The ants are probably all asleep by now!' he complained, 'And to be quite fair, it probably doesn't help that there's no grass. Ants like grass…'
It was on the tip of my tongue to say that I like grass too, but this didn't seem like the right time.
After an hour or so of unsuccessful hunting, I took a small toy ant out of my pocket and flicked it into the torch beam.
'Ah! There's one!' Wilson exclaimed, running over to pick it up.
As he examined it in the torchlight, he said, 'Oh, hang on – this ant doesn't look rea…'
He shrugged in a resigned sort of way, and declared philosophically, 'Well, never mind. Needs must, I suppose…'
Popping the 'ant' into his borrowed honey pot he picked up his paper crown without bothering to put it on, and we walked slowly back into the house.
Once he was seated with a mug of Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows and Extra Ants, Wilson told me, 'This was the Worst Ant Hunt EVER!'
Today – the first Sunday in March – as I'm sure you know, is National Ant Day.
Whereas the house would usually be at a fever pitch of excitement and anticipation (ANTicipation! 😜), today there is a sense of anxiety and angst – Wilson can't find his gold(-effect) Ant King Crown, nor his Famous Anting Jam Jar!
They were both prize exhibits in his little Museum, but since everything has been packed away for the re-build, he can't remember which box he put them in.
Everyone is extremely tense… fraught… dare I say, antsy! 😂
