Snow White

By the time Snow White ended the living room looked like a battlefield, with soft toys passed out all over the floor!

Polly and Billi administered small doses of Royal Jelly to everyone for the shock, and Wilson enquired whether anyone would like an ant poultice.

Even W himself was taken by surprise at how scary the film had been, and he's looking for a no-win no-fee lawyer willing to take on the Disney Corporation in a Class Action for "emotional injury". 

If that fails, he says he's willing to sue the British Board of Film Classification for mis-categorising it as suitable for children. 

The youngsters, however, are gradually recovering from the trauma… and I think they're quite enjoying the attention!

Royal Jelly

Wilson suffered an inevitable disappointment yesterday when, once again, his OBE was not ratified in the New Year's Honours List. He's threatening to take the matter up with Watchdog. I do hope he doesn't — scrutiny of this 'honour' could cause no end of problems…

Anyway, everyone finally got to watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarves on tv. 

Everyone except Polly and Billi who preferred to play with their Xmas present, a jar of Royal Jelly Wilson brought back for them from Bath. They dabbed a little behind their ears, rubbed some into their cheeks and complimented each other, interspersed with quite a lot of giggling, on how it made them look weeks younger!

Then they ate a little before putting it away, coming over to the tv and asking Wilson to explain what they'd missed.

Happy New Year!

I took Wilson to celebrate New Year's Eve at one of his favourite venues, The Slug And Lettuce. 

Over our meal I asked him if he'd made any New Year Resolutions for 2015, and he told me that he hadn't quite finished with last year's resolutions yet, and he didn't want to waste them.

We also discussed his goldfish, Diesel, and how he didn't really have any idea what was going on with Xmas or the New Year. As soon as we got home Wilson wrote a backwards New Year message to Diesel on a Post-It, and stuck it to his bowl.

I have no idea whether goldfish can read, but I thought that was a very kind gesture. 

A Walk in the Country...

I know that Wilson had planned to spend New Year's Eve watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarves on tv, eating chocolate and drinking more than is good for him. But having been indoors for several days he's probably getting Cabin Fever, and I recalled his psychiatrist's advice that he should get plenty of fresh air and do more anteater-y activities.

When I suggested a nice walk in the countryside, however, W protested that watching tv in the warm was the most anteater-y activity he could think of!

Promising that he could watch tv later, I insisted on a short, brisk walk. 

He wasn't happy, but I'm sure it did him good. Probably.

Preparing for New Year...

I'm not much of a fan of the lacuna between Xmas and New Year — a melancholy ennui descends which everyone seems powerless fill other than with an excess of eating, drinking and listless tv-watching.

I must ask Wilson to organise some jolly diversions for New Year's Eve to fill the time while we wait for Clive James to smirkingly remind us what a shoddy year we've just lived through. 

Still, there's always Andy Williams and his White Heather Club Hogmanay Party to look forward to…

Severe Weather Warning

The Met Office has apparently issued a Severe Weather Warning for high winds which may cause falling trees. 

At breakfast Wilson informed me that he had inspected the damage we had sustained and has declared a State Of Emergency, confining everyone to the house.

I suspect this is a ruse to stay indoors all day drinking hot chocolate with a shot, eating Xmas cake and watching movies. I know that W is desperate to see Inception, but having seen the mental anguish the Xmas Dr Who caused him I am putting my foot down, even though I'd like to watch it again.

Parents sometimes have to make sacrifices…

Xmas is fading into memory...

Wilson has spent most of his time since Xmas eating, drinking, dozing and playing with everyone's toys. 

I, for my part, have spent most of my time eating, drinking, dozing and not having to settle arguments!

Today has been no different, and things are very peaceful here. Tranquil, even.

I hope it lasts…