Birthday Honours List

'Moles?' Wilson repeated, 'What's "Moles"?'

Uncle Z gave a derisory snort. 'You are a city boy, aren't you!' he observed. 'Moles is little furry things that scuttle about underground in tunnels.'

W turned to me and announced that he wanted, no needed, a pet mole. It is apparently the one thing he has always most wanted in the world (after being a millionaire, presumably).

I considered for a moment and told him I couldn't see any harm in it, as long as no cages were involved. The mole must live in the garden and be free to leave when he wants.

'Brilliant!' W shouted, 'I'm going to have a mole! Where is he?'

'He's down under there somewhere,' Uncle Z replied. 'You'll have to wait quietly and watch. Can you do "quietly"? I've never seen any evidence of it.'

Wilson sat stock still with his eyes fixed on the mole hill.

'Oh, by the way,' Uncle Z added as an afterthought, 'You're not in the Queen's Birthday Honours List. Again. I checked the Court Circular this morning.'

The Periodic Table

'Aah yes, the... um, Periodic Table of Ants!' Wilson replied, 'It's progressing well and will be a boon to mankind and science!'

'That's good to hear,' I said, 'because I was hoping we could take that ghastly "secrecy curtain" down soon and resto…'

Wilson cut me off: 'Out of the question, I'm afraid!' before deftly changing the subject.

'What on earth is that on the lawn?'

He ran over to a loose pile of soil and regarded it suspiciously.

'It looks like an Asteroid Crater!' he announced, 'We must prepare for imminent catastrophe — everyone to the Asteroid Shelter!'

Uncle Zoltan strolled out on to his balcony and observed sardonically, "That's no asteroid! You've got Moles, my boy. Moles.'

Not Quite Sport

Today I found just about the whole family out in the garden, all playing Top Trumps: Ants. There was little or no arguing, and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves. 

I was almost surprised not to find Uncle Zoltan out there too, saying 'That's not how we played Top Trumps when I was a boy!' but it's probably too sunny for him.

This isn't exactly the Outdoor Exercise that Wilson's psychiatrist recommended, but it's good to see him getting some sunshine and fresh air.

Between hands, while the cards were being shuffled, I interrupted to ask W how his Periodic Table of Ants was coming along.

He frowned with blank eyes, as if racking his memory...

http://youtu.be/3XvG-IxEURU

Top Trumps

Wilson has now finished designing his special Top Trumps Ants game. This morning he printed out a full deck and challenged me to a game. 

By the time he'd beaten me seven times straight he'd concluded that my ant knowledge was just about non-existent and that I'm a slow learner. 

Both of these observations are probably fair comment, but I had come to a different conclusion: that this might not be the best Top Trumps game to sell to humans — I can't see this making him the £1Million he so desperately needs… 

http://youtu.be/3XvG-IxEURU

Satori

Around 4am today, Wilson had a moment of Satori, of Enlightenment, of Clarity! 

Honestly, I'd have been just as happy if he hadn't woken me up to share it with me, but it's done now. Anyway, his idea was to post his video to YouTube. 

'That's the place to go Viral, New Dad!' he told me, with rather more enthusiasm than I could handle at that time of day…

By breakfast his video had been up on YouTube for four hours and still hadn't gone viral. Wilson said that 'Going Viral' is taking much longer than he'd expected, so he's starting another project before he gets bored: Top Trump Ants!

He settled down at the kitchen table with his Ant Reference Books and crayons and set to work.

Wilson's Music Video is now on YouTube, so EVERYBODY should be able to see and hear it, including iPad users! 

http://youtu.be/3XvG-IxEURU

Fly-posting

Wilson was up and about early this morning — he popped into the village to fly-post some posters for his record and music video. I'm so afraid he'll get into trouble for this one day, but he just tells me that I worry too much.

He's gone off his first poster a bit and designed a new one in bright yellow. There's a copy of it attached, and he says that if you all print out and display a copy it would make him very happy. 

Also it would save me quite a lot in printer ink...

Catch the music and the video free at: http://tinyurl.com/ow57g73

Technical Problems cause disappointment

Wilson is puzzled and disheartened by the fact that, while some people can see his Music Video just fine, others can't. 

It seems to play okay on Macs, PCs and Android devices, but not on iPads. He looks to me for help, but I really don't know what to say — I'm not very technical like that. 

I try to comfort him with the fact that, of those who could see the video, the response has been very positive. Considering.

'This isn't the way to make it go Viral, New Dad!' he complains morosely… 

Anyway, he's made a poster to help promote it.