Birthday Honours List

'Moles?' Wilson repeated, 'What's "Moles"?'

Uncle Z gave a derisory snort. 'You are a city boy, aren't you!' he observed. 'Moles is little furry things that scuttle about underground in tunnels.'

W turned to me and announced that he wanted, no needed, a pet mole. It is apparently the one thing he has always most wanted in the world (after being a millionaire, presumably).

I considered for a moment and told him I couldn't see any harm in it, as long as no cages were involved. The mole must live in the garden and be free to leave when he wants.

'Brilliant!' W shouted, 'I'm going to have a mole! Where is he?'

'He's down under there somewhere,' Uncle Z replied. 'You'll have to wait quietly and watch. Can you do "quietly"? I've never seen any evidence of it.'

Wilson sat stock still with his eyes fixed on the mole hill.

'Oh, by the way,' Uncle Z added as an afterthought, 'You're not in the Queen's Birthday Honours List. Again. I checked the Court Circular this morning.'