I took Wilson shopping yesterday, to take his mind off the upcoming wedding, as he's becoming a tiny bit nervous about discharging his Best Man duties successfully.
While we were out he noticed that a lot of the shops and stores we visited give away free stuff — plastic forks, coffee stirrers, sachets of sugar and ketchup, half-size pencils, napkins, paper tape measures, tiny ball-point pens and so on — and he's started collecting them.
Kids and their collections, eh? Still, it's keeping him happy.
Before I forget, here as promised are the FREE DECORATIONS Wilson has designed for you.
He says you should cut them out carefully then fold them in half before gluing them closed and hanging them on your Xmas Tree.
Wilson warns that you should enlist the help of a grown-up while you're using the scissors and the glue, as he has had nasty fur-related accidents with both in the past...
With the help of all the children, Wilson is decorating the Xmas Tree.
If you look closely, you might just make out the special Baubles W is using: he has told me that he'll will be giving away some of those — and some other 'special' decorations — tomorrow.
Don't miss out on getting them as they will add 'Magic, beauty and a certain Je Ne Sais Quoi to your tree!'
I must stress those are W's words, not mine, so I hope you won't be disappointed.
Wilson is hoping that, what with his new furstyle, he might 'get off' with one of the bridesmaids — he say that it's a 'Well-known wedding tradition.'
I really must have a word with him about Appropriate and Decorous Behaviour at Ms Julia's wedding on Monday...
Yesterday Wilson made a foray into the loft to find the Xmas Decorations.
He doesn't like it up there as it's dark, cobwebby and a tiny bit spooky, but he bravely persisted until the living room floor was ankle deep in tinsel, fairy lights and glass baubles.
As Xmas draws ever nearer, Wilson would like to wish all his readers and listeners a...
Noël très heureux
Zeer Gelukkige Kerstmis
Sehr glückliches Weihnachten
Πολύ ευτυχή Χριστούγεννα
Natale molto felice
非常に楽しいクリスマス
Natal muito feliz
Очень счастливое Кристмас
Navidad muy feliz
... which he REALLY HOPES means "Very Happy Xmas" rather than something rude! There is a measure of doubt because Uncle Zoltan provided the translations. 😕
This morning I took Wilson to Ali's Fantastic Barber Shop in the High Street for a trim before the wedding.
He was very impressed by the cool wallpaper, but then he caught sight of the wash basins and I had to reassure him that having his fur washed was optional.
While we waited for W's turn, I tried to interest him in starting up a Newspaper of some kind to occupy him now his Radio Station has closed.
He dismissed this, saying that Print Media Are Dead and quoting Marshall McLuhan to me:
'We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us,' he intoned sternly, and 'All media exist to invest our lives with artificial perceptions and arbitrary values.'
I think this might be a bit too deep for me, but I do get the point — he's not going to start a newspaper.
Better cancel that John Bull Printing Set I'd ordered for him for Xmas.
Whatever, once his fur had been trimmed he couldn't take his eyes off his reflection, saying that his new 'do' made him look 'Dangerous, but cuddly!' which is apparently 'Wicked!'
Wilson has decided, with great sadness, that he will have to close Wonderful Radio W.
He says it was much more all-consuming than he'd expected, and it didn't leave him any time to pursue his other interests. Or to sleep. Moreover, with Ms Julia's Wedding now only eight days away, Radio W is simply no longer viable.
It's a shame, as he's put a lot of work into Radio W — but I shall be happy to get the dining room back in time for Xmas!
He is planning a final broadcast, called His Final Hour which rather puts me in mind of the very sad day when Pirate Station Radio London finally ceased transmission following the Marine, &c., Broadcasting (Offences) Act 1967 ...
At present, Polly and Billi are Guest DJ-ing, while Wilson sits in the living room contemplating his lost media empire and Antony attempts to console him.
That's a big ask for a small stuffed toy, but he IS Wilson's dearest friend and closest confidant so he just might be up to the task...
To ease the pain for his loyal listeners, W has told me that he will soon be sending out some special Xmas Gifts!
_____
Please don't say anything to Wilson, but I'm taking him into the village tomorrow to have his fur trimmed in time for the wedding — that should take his mind off his troubles, as he's never been to a barbers before!
