I was just enjoying my morning coffee when there was a timid knock at the kitchen door.
Nothing happened, so I called out 'Come in!' and Byron entered the room.
Without meeting my eye (I think he's still a bit shy around me) he announced, in a very quiet voice, 'Excuse me, Mr Wilson's New Dad, but Wilson would like to show you something in the dining room.'
I followed him in, and saw Wilson holding a can of beer in one paw and a can of lemonade in the other, while a strange, bifurcated drinking straw emerged from his mouth.
Removing the straw, he exclaimed, 'Look what Byron and me have just invented — it's a straw that makes shandy while you drink it!'
I had to admit it was... novel.
'What's it called?' I asked.
'Well, we were going to call it the Shandy Straw, but then we thought of naming it the Sandie Shaw — in a kind of Spoonerismistic homage to the gamine and barefoot 60s chanteuse and Eurovision winner of the same name!'
'It's like Rhyming Slang!' Byron added, growing bolder.
Wilson suddenly laid an arm round Byron's shoulders and shouted, 'What a team — we are UNSTOPPABLE!'
This morning Wilson and I drove over to the Zoo to collect W's half-brother Kenneth Byron Eustace Vermilingua.
When we arrived, Byron was already waiting on the pavement with his luggage, engrossed in a book about Tomato Cultivation.
Wilson jumped out of the car and the two boys embraced. Briefly, and in a very 'manly' way, obviously.
While I loaded Byron's cases into the boot of the car, Wilson glanced at the Tomato Cultivation books and remarked, 'Tomatoes are yesterday's news — I'd see if you can get a refund on these books. My new idea is WAY more exciting and fun! I can't wait to tell you all about it, but my New Dad doesn't know about it yet, so I'll explain when we get home!'
As we drove back to Uckfield, both boys sat together on the back seat — and there was a lot of whispering and giggling going on.
Unfortunately I couldn't make out a word of what they were saying, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what they've got planned.
And hope for the best...
As soon as the disembarking passengers had... well... disembarked, we shuffled forward and boarded the i360 Pod.
Wilson was very impressed.
'It's ENORMOUS in here, New Dad! It looks as big as Uckfield High Street but without the shops and cars — AND it's got a Bar!'
He ran excitedly round the Pod a couple of times, then stared upward through the glass ceiling, where the central pillar extended 500ft above us into the sky, remarking, 'Well, that's VERY high, isn't it? And we're going right to the top! Where's the Emergency Handle to stop it?'
Once he'd established that the Bar did not stock Ant Gin he settled for a glass of champagne — to settle his nerves — and the pod began to rise majestically.
So gentle was our ascent that as we started there was no sensation of movement — until Wilson shouted 'WE'RE GOING UP!' and gripped tightly on the the handrail with both paws.
I'm sure he'll love this experience — as long as no-one mentions that it's broken down three times in the last five days...
Clutching his Boarding Pass firmly in his paw, Wilson queued with me to pass through the pre-boarding Security Check.
'It looks like a Flying Saucer on a Stick, New Dad,' he remarked while we waited, 'or a ginormous huge silver doughnut!'
After a moment he continued, 'Did you know it goes even higher that that balloon I went up on in Bournemouth? I hope it doesn't sway about as much as that did — for a little while, I thought I was going to fall out of the basket!'
He chatters like this when he's nervous, but I'm sure he'll be okay once we're inside the Pod.
Check back on Wednesday to see how our flight goes...
A trip on the i360 Viewing Platform lasts for about 20 minutes, plus it takes a few minutes to board, so since the gondola was at the top of its mast we had a little wait before our turn.
We spent this time walking on the beach, in the i360 Gift Shop and eating ice lollies.
I hope Wilson's careful with that lolly, or it's going to land on someone's head.
Actually, if he leans much further over that barrier, HE will land on someone's head...
