When The Beat Drops Out

Returning home from our trip to the Thames Barrier we were surprised to hear loud music coming from the kitchen… but not as surprised as we were by the sight that greeted us as we entered the room: Polly and Billi with their children Johnson and Johnson together with Antony and Tiny Toy were all pogo-ing maniacally while singing at the tops of their little voices, 'When The Bee Jumps Out! When The Bee Jumps Out!'

Wilson at first threw up his arms in horror… before joining in with the dancing and singing.

It transpires they were singing along to Marlon Roudette's hit record 'When The Beat Drops Out' and had mis-heard the lyrics. There aren't many songs written about bees so I didn't disabuse them; instead I promised to buy them a copy from the iTunes Store so they could listen to it whenever they want.

It was an easy mistake to make, though — have a listen yourself and see what I mean:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLRgaU9uUnA

Slide

As we made our way back to the car park Wilson noticed a children's playground overlooking the Thames, and asked to play there for a little while.

Watching him playing was a useful reminder to me that, in spite of his precocity and ambition, he is really just a child, a normal little boy…

When he was finally exhausted we climbed back in the car and drove back to Uckfield — or Ucky, as W calls it.

Model

After some more messing about with the automatic doors as we left the Information Centre, we made our way to a giant cross-sectional scale model of one of the barrier units. 

Scorning the injunction that children should not climb on the structure ('I am not a child, New Dad!') Wilson studied the mechanism for a few minutes before declaring that this would be another ideal site for a snack-vending machine.

In my efforts to distract him, I have inadvertently given him something else to obsess over…

Visitor Centre

There's not many things Wilson likes playing with more than an automatic door, so it was quite a while before we actually got inside the Thames Barrier Information Centre.

Wilson pointed out on the scale model exactly where his improvements would be sited, and explained how I would have to drive up to London at least once a week to replenish his vending machines.

Hmmmm — we'll see about that!

Please don't hesitate to share Wilson's brilliant(!) ideas for improving The Thames Barrier with your friends! Or with your MP, or even random strangers. Your sharing will make an ambitious and enthusiastic young anteater very happy, and who wouldn't want that?
Here's the link: http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

Hot Chocolate and cookies

Once we had seen our fill of the Barrier we headed back to the café for hot chocolate and cookies. 

Wilson started to explain the improvements to the Barrier he envisioned and which he intended to suggest to the Chief Engineer. They all involved the installation of snack vending machines at the observation stations on the riverside walkway — I'm pretty sure he has it in mind to offer to supply the machines with ant-based snacks…

While he was in such an expansive mood I broached the subject of his Museum, enquiring what exactly he was doing in there. 

He immediately changed the subject and gazed out the windows, suddenly fascinated by a passing barge…

Improvements to the Thames Barrier

The Thames Barrier is a huge mechanical Dam which can completely close the River Thames at times of high risk of flooding. It was conceived following the devastating floods of 1953, and although it has been operational since 1982 it is still an impressive sight and popular with tourists.

Wilson examined it closely through the coin-op telescope, and told me that he could see a number of ways in which the Barrier might be improved. 

'I shall write to the Chief Engineer as soon as we get home!' he said.

Thames Barrier

Today dawned warm and sunny, so I banged on the Museum door until Wilson finally opened it. He stood blinking in the sunshine while I told him that I thought he was working too hard and I was going to take him out for a ride in the car to somewhere exciting. 

He offered little or no resistance, and as soon as he was strapped into the passenger seat he fell asleep — not waking until we reached our destination: the Thames Barrier in London.