The boys are in the garden making the main sign for their shop – Wilson and Byron are painting while Nërp the Robot spell-checks their work.
While the boys sprayed they chatted together with Nërp about Life, The Universe and Everything – and in particular, what it’s like to be a robot.
Wilson asked him, ‘What is your purpose, Nërp?’
Without hesitation the android replied, ‘To do as I am bid — what is your purpose, Wilson?’
W sighed, before admitting, ‘I only wish I knew!’
After a few minutes of silent contemplation, Wilson asked Nërp a question which has been troubling him for some time: Why so many of his Modules are missing.
In reply, Nërp reminded Wilson, rather testily I thought, ‘You bought me on eBay, at a pocket-money price; is it so surprising that I’m not quite 100% functional, in one or two totally non-essential areas? And anyway, what were you expecting – Data from Star Trek?’
The boys were making their way home in a pretty despondent mood when, a little way down a side road off the High Street, Nërp noticed an empty shop.
He pointed it out to Wilson and Byron, and they all went to take a closer look.
When they arrived back home, Wilson told me excitedly that they’d all fallen in love with this place – it suited their needs perfectly, looked nice and, moreover, it was in a good area.
W explained to me that it was definitely in a ‘heavy footfall, up-market quarter,’ not only because of the other, totally non-derelict shops either side but also because he’d seen ‘affluent’ pedestrians walking past.
I promised I’d give the Estate Agent a call tomorrow to see how much it would cost to lease the place for a week.
I think Wilson and Byron are becoming a little bit disheartened as their search for commercial premises turns up yet another clunker.
Their latest find, judging by its name, might have been a Vape Shop in a previous life – I sincerely hope that’s not what the boys are intending to open!
Nor a Tattoo Parlour – in fact, the list of things I hope they’re not going to do is long, and getting longer every day…
Nërp, however, retains a generally positive outlook, apparently undismayed by the procession of derelict properties he is asked to appraise each day.
I suppose as an AI he doesn’t have the Emotional Involvement that effects humans and anteaters – an attitude which I sometimes think has much to commend it.
To celebrate yesterday’s birth of the new Royal Prince, here is a photo of Wilson (or Boo, as he was then called) as a newborn.
Following a falling-out with HM The Queen Wilson isn’t much of a Royalist, but he has been to the village Betting Shop to place a couple of wagers on the baby prince’s name: he’s got 50p on Dylan, and another 50p on Baby McBabyface.
That’s £1 he’ll never see again, although he did get exceedingly good odds!
Wilson has gone back into town with Byron and Nërp in search of Suitable Premises for their new enterprise.
Unfortunately, they’ve returned to the less savoury end of town where they say property will be cheaper (I can well believe that!) although still entirely out of their financial reach.
The appeal of the place they’ve just come across – which appears to be in even worse state than their last find, “Arcade Heaven” – seems to be that it comes complete with an illuminated sign. I think it’s more likely that the sign has just been dumped outside the shop and abandoned.
Nërp, having promised me he’d keep an eye on the boys, is by turns pleading with, and ordering them, to leave The Badlands district, but so far without success.
Wilson Is Not For Turning…
Last night we all spent a long time discussing whether or not we should purchase the derelict Amusement Arcade the boys found – and I think we’re in agreement that we should not proceed with that venture.
Phew!
Right now Wilson and Byron are relaxing in the garden with some of the children, while Nërp recharges his battery indoors (so as not to overheat in the sun – he’s already too hot to touch).
W + B are having a whispered discussion, so I fear their next project – whatever it is – is still on the cards, and they’ve already told me they plan to return to Property Hunting tomorrow.
I have suggested that they go to a nicer part of town – they obviously can’t afford to buy any property, so at least they can not afford somewhere salubrious rather than not affording somewhere frightful!
