Ironbridge!

Here we are in Ironbridge! During the journey up I was telling Wilson the history of Ironbridge, how the first iron bridge in the world was built there in 1781, made possible by a new steel smelting process etc when he interrupted me. 

'We're going to look at an old bridge?' he asked, a note of incredulity in his voice. 

'Well, yes we are, but it's much more than just…'

'An old bridge,' he continued. 'We have an old bridge in Uckfield that we drive over every day, yet we're travelling more than 200 miles to look at another old bridge.' He rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. 'I can only say this place had better have magnificent sandy beaches. Wake me up when the Olympic Pillow Fighting starts.'

With that he sank down into his seat and went to sleep for the rest of the journey.

Off on our holidays!

So, we're all packed and ready to go. Wilson insisted on packing his bucket and spade and his Speedos, even though we'll be almost 100 miles from the coast. He's never been on holiday before to anywhere that wasn't a seaside resort; I do hope he's not disappointed. 

I've had to promise W that we'll listen to BBC Five Live Olympics on the journey up, as he doesn't want to miss the Olympic Pillow Fighting Finals — I don't know where he gets these ideas…

BTW, like the new car? Wilson chose the colour — he  thought it looked very 'boyish'!

Ironbridge, Here We Come!

The concrete delivery is postponed

Today I am feeling much better, thanks for asking. My tooth has more-or-less stopped hurting and I've had to to face the fact that tomorrow the good people from the Readymix Company are scheduled to pump six tons of concrety goodness (Wilson's expression, not mine) onto the back lawn. 

I could see no alternative but to tell Wilson about the surprise trip to the midlands. 

He was very excited, but rather than cancel the Readymix order has merely postponed delivery until we return. At least that will give me some time to think of something to distract him from his Easter Island Heads scheme... 

In the meantime, we're both busy packing.

Hi! It's me, Wilson!

Hello readers! New Dad is "too ill" to write his journal today, so I'm doing it for him! 

He apparently has "toothache" but he is being such a baby about it. We anteaters don't actually have teeth, but my mum, Mrs Vermilingua, knows many sovereign cures for toothache which she has passed down to me.

For example, a mouthful of live Fire Ants is guaranteed to distract anyone from the pain of toothache. I happen to have some live Fire Ants, but will New Dad try this traditional family remedy? No he will not! 

Instead, he goes whining to the dentist's receptionist… who told him to come back the next day. 

I wouldn't have New Dad treated like that, so I phoned the receptionist myself and gave her a piece of my mind. New Dad was soon in with the dentist being given two kinds of Antibiotics. Judging by the name, ANTibiotics, I'll bet this is just some fancy medicine made out of Fire Ants…

New Dad was a real baby at the dentists, but to cheer him up I did give him one of my "I've Been Brave at the Dentist" stickers. 

Wilson Vermilingua OBE

XXXXX

WTF?

One of Wilson's friends, Rob, ended a very technical post with the acronym AFAIK. W asked me what it meant but I didn't know, so we Googled it and found a massive dictionary on on-line acronyms.

Wilson has now decided that acronyms are the way forward; he can talk quicker and live his life faster by communicating in initials. This is very confusing, because most of them he makes up as he goes along. I then have to spend 20 minutes working out what he might have meant, while he gets on with his high-speed life. Or his H-SL as he now refers to it. 

He's just stuck his head round the door to ask me 'WYLICOC?'

'Y,' I replied, 'WICCC,P.' W frowned briefly, then disappeared. Whether my Cup Of Coffee will come With A Chocolate Chip Cookie, Please is anyone's guess… IHNI.

Coming soon: six tons of concrete

To take his mind off Antony's recent ordeal, Wilson has ordered six tons of Readymix for his Easter Island Heads project. The concrete is due to be delivered Friday morning. 

I must keep calm and think of something...

The Heads again...

Wilson has pointed out that with the demise of the teddy-bear-building robot, his donation of teddy-bears to the Costa Rican Sloth Orphanage will be entirely dependent on his upcoming Grand Charity Garden Open Day, so it is more important than ever to get the Easter Island Heads built. W is certain they will be a major attraction.