Over breakfast this morning, the postman called with a postcard addressed to Wilson – from Uncle Z!
In it he reported a sell-out for his performances at prestigious music venue King Tut's Wah Wah Hut in Glasgow.
The postcard, however, was postmarked Ringles Cross, which is about two miles from here and, as Wilson pointed out, Uncle Z and his drum kit look like a very poor Cut-n-Paste job, which still bears traces of Glu-Stik…
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FYI: Updates from Wilson may be a bit intermittent for the next few days, due to an illness in the family.
Wilson is now fully recovered from his self-imposed incarceration in the Brain Lab, and has just shown me the fruits of his cerebral labours – his list of allegedly Brilliant Ideas:
• Write a Book of Inspirational Quotations [I daren't think]
• Invent a Celebrity Diet [I'm guessing ants will feature heavily]
• Rebuild his Museum [sounds expensive, I'll try to talk him out of this]
and
• Publish a series of Educational Books for Children [he's still a child himself – but perhaps that will give him a natural advantage!]
I don't mean to be churlish, but four ideas seems a meagre harvest for two whole days of thinking…
Two days after confining himself in The Mind Laboratory (AKA his bedroom) Wilson has run out of Essential Supplies and emerged, his notebook replete with (ostensibly) brilliant ideas.
Once out, the first thing he asked for was breakfast cereal and a quad espresso.
I hope he still thinks his ideas are brilliant once he's had a chance to consider them – but honestly I'll be pleased if any of them provide something to occupy him in the tedious interlude between Xmas and Easter.
He told me he'll explain his many schemes once he's fully recovered his equilibrium – I think he means once his hangover has subsided…
Even with his calendar to help him plan, Wilson still can't think of anything to do.
Therefore he has announced that he will move into the Tumble Dryer, now re-named THE MIND LABORATORY and vowed not to emerge until he has had at least one 'brilliant idea'.
He's taken with him a catering-size box of Cheesy Wotsits and a litre bottle of Ant Gin (both of which he assures me are 'brain food'), his iPhone (in case of emergencies) and a note pad to write down his ideas.
When boiled down to basics, this amounts to nothing more than a day in bed – but even so, I can't see him lasting more than a day, two at most…
This morning Wilson was still complaining that he's bored and he's got nothing to do.
When I was his age, I'd nothing better to resort to than a jigsaw puzzle, but I don't bother telling him this.
Instead, I've persuaded him to produce a Quarterly Calendar so, when he does think of something to do, he can write it on the calendar to remind himself about it later.
He's just finished the calendar, but says he still can't think of anything interesting to put on it…
Perhaps you could print out a copy for yourself and write interesting things on it – Dentists' Appointments, getting the car MOT'd and so on – so you've got something nice to look forward to!
