Déjà Vu

Exactly the same thing happened today as happened last St Valentine's Day. In fact, the same thing that has happened every St Valentine's Day since Wilson first came to live here: he received a Valentine Card signed from 'A Secret Admirer.' 

When the huge envelope fell onto the doormat he sighed wearily. 

He sighed wearily again as he tore it open. 

He sighed wearily as he opened the enormous card and read the message, 'Happy Valentine's Day from your Secret Admirer!'

The sighing is all because he is convinced it is his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua, sending these cards every year, and he finds it a bit… well, embarrassing. 

Polly and Billy, on the other hand, find it very funny and do rather tease him about it...

Uncle Z's Memoirs

Polly has just returned from the hive, where she has been reading Uncle Zoltan's Memoirs, Chapter 1.

She told us all that Uncle Zoltan was hatched in 1961, which makes him about 54.This is exceptionally old for a bee. So old that he thinks he is due several telegrams from the Queen. 

Whether that would be from HRH HM Queen Elizabeth II or the queen of the hive was not made clear.

Billi remarked that it's only being so bitter that keeps him going...

Redecorating

Yesterday Wilson ordered a 'Mystery Box' of fabric dyes on eBay — I think he was a bit hurt by my describing his new curtains as 'the horriblest things I've ever seen' so he had the dyes sent Express.

Not only did they arrive before breakfast, W has already dyed the curtains a livid magenta colour, and re-hung them!

He asked me if I thought they looked better now. To avoid having to give an honest answer, I asked him what all those magenta streaks running down the kitchen wall were. 

He confessed that in his haste he hadn't read the instructions, and it was possible he hadn't rinsed and dried the curtains quite enough before he re-hung them… but he was sure the bees would have a Top Tip for getting stains off wallpaper.

I hope he's right about that; Billi said she 'hadn't got a Scoobie', and Polly is still in the hive with Uncle Zoltan…

Autobiography

Today Polly popped round to the hive to check on Uncle Zoltan, since no one had seen or heard anything of him for several days.

She found him in his study, typing. He told her that he'd started to type a Post-It Note a couple of days ago and it gradually turned into his autobiography!

He's written nearly thirty pages, and he hasn't even reached the bit where he hatched yet! This looks set to be a very detailed autobiography…

Prying eyes...

Over breakfast Polly mentioned that she hadn't heard from Uncle Zoltan for several days, and she would pop over later to check that he was alright.

Wilson has hung some new curtains in the kitchen — not at the window but in front of the notice board. He says that his invention must at all costs be shielded from prying eyes, and he'd seen curtains used like this in a war film on tv.

The curtains are possibly the horriblest things I've ever seen…

Periodic Table

Today Wilson revealed his 'Scientific and Taxonomic Breakthrough' — it is a "Periodic Table of Ants." Allegedly.

W pinned it up on his noticeboard in the kitchen so it was easier to work on, but impressed on me the need for total secrecy. 

'Dr Rosalind Franklin invented DNA, but those rascals Watson and Crick pinched it from her and won half a Nobel Prize each!' he explained. 'I don't want anyone nicking or sharing my Nobel Prize!'

A little later he told me that he was being extra careful not to go outside the lines with his colouring-in, as he was young enough to compete for the Turner Prize too, and was feeling 'Well confident'…