Wilson proudly produced two (cardboard) coins, saying, 'I present to you... the V-Coin!'
'Wow!' I exclaimed, for want of anything more intelligent to say.
'These,' he continued, 'are the prototype designs my V-Coins – although of course, the REAL V-Coins aren't physical, they just live inside my computer.'
Then he showed me a little slot in his (ie MY) computer where he inserts the V-Coins(!), and which I had previously, naïvely, believed to be a ventilation hole.
If W has been posting coins into it, that would probably account for the funny noise the computer's been making lately...
Then he told me that, 'If anyone asks, the V in V-Coin stands for 'Virtual' but actually,' he paused to look over his shoulder and lowered his voice to a whisper, 'it stands for Vermilingua! Brilliant, eh?'
Having been up most of the night doing 'research' online, Wilson called me into the kitchen so he could present his findings.
Referring to his flipchart, he began:
❝ In March 2010 one Bitcoin was worth 0.2p ($0.003)
Just before last Xmas it was worth £12,580 ($17,000).
If I had bought just 98 Bitcoins in 2010, at a total cost of £0.22 (¢.030) I would be a £ millionaire by now...❞
'Is that really true?' I asked, shocked by his figures. 'Just ONE Bitcoin's value increased from less than a penny to... more than £12,000?'
I can give you the figures in Euros, if you prefer, he replied.
'To be fair,' he continued, 'there was a massive devaluation event just before Xmas, where it lost a third of its value in 24 hours... but that is irrelevant, because this isn't about Bitcoins...'
'It's not?' I asked, shocked by this sudden and unexpected change in direction.
'Bitcoins,' he continued, 'are History – the Big Money has already been made! I'm talking about something else entirely – something so new I've not even quite finished inventing it yet...'
____________
Members of the Wilson Vermilingua Appreciation Society – make sure you take a look at the App Soc Facebook Page later today: there'll be a small but EXCLUSIVE Free Gift for you!
Now that Wilson's brother, Byron, has gone back to the zoo, the house is very quiet.
Wilson is just wandering around listlessly and watching more daytime tv than I approve of, so today I packed him, Antony and TT into the car and took them all to the seaside for some kite-flying, fresh air and al fresco dining.
W seemed to enjoy himself, but I could tell he was a bit... distracted. As we drove home I discovered what he'd been musing about when he asked me, 'New Dad – what do you know about Bitcoins?'
My heart sank a little, but I told him what I knew – which wasn't much.
'Well,' I replied, 'Bitcoin is a "Virtual Currency". It's like imaginary money that only exists because a lot of people think it exists. You "earn" Bitcoins by solving difficult problems on a computer (it's called "Bitcoin Mining") and there can never be more than 21 million Bitcoins in existence – except they don't really exist anyway...'
I went on to warn him not to get involved, as the prevailing wisdom is that Bitcoin could go bust at any moment.
I didn't want yesterday's incident at the car park to spoil Byron's last day with us, so I refunded all the dissatisfied visitors to Wilson's Motor Museum myself and let the boys keep their somewhat ill-gotten gains.
Then, following a large and elaborate dinner, cooked by W and described by him as The Last Supper (I picked all the ants out of mine, but I did it subtly, so as not to cause offence) he and Byron spent their final night sleeping in the washing machine.
This morning Byron was preparing to return to the zoo the way he had arrived – on the bus – but burdened as he was by his Xmas presents, gifts for his family, left-over food etc, I insisted on taking him in the car.
I must say, the house is going to seem very quiet without the sounds of him and Wilson shouting, laughing, wrestling and generally getting into mischief – I hope W doesn't feel too lonely without him here...
When the boys asked if they could open a Motor Museum, I thought that would just involve them arranging Wilson's toy cars in his 'Museum' and charging me to look at them.
This morning, though, I had a telephone call from the police, asking me to come down to the Luxford Car Park in the village as there was a disturbance.
When I arrived i found Wilson sitting in a Booth selling Admission Tickets, while Byron was manning a barrier.
They were allowing cars to enter the car park without restriction, but attempting to charge pedestrians £5 to (as Wilson put it) 'view the constantly-changing exhibition of cars old and new'.
Even owners trying to return to their own cars previously parked there were being charged unless they could show Wilson a RE-ADMIT stamp on the back of their hands to 'prove' they owned one of the 'exhibits'...
