Wilson is exhausted what with running Radio W non-stop for over a week then putting up the Xmas Lights yesterday, and last night — during the 9pm 'Late, Late Show' — he dozed off at the mic.
I carried him gently to the Tumble Dryer to catch up on his sleep.
He roused himself briefly to tell me that the answer to yesterday's Chase question is 'The M26 is the shortest, at only 15.9km,' then he relapsed into a deep, deep sleep.
I don't think he'll be in any fit state to set Chase questions or play records until tomorrow at the earliest...
The start of December is the time when Wilson puts up our outdoor Xmas lights.
Rather against his better judgement, he has left The Bees and Uncle Zoltan running the Afternoon Show on Wonderful Radio W, having given strict instructions to Uncle Z NOT to play ANY Hungarian folk music.
From the top of the ladder, apropos nothing at all, Wilson suddenly shouted down to ask another of his potential Chase questions:
'New Dad — which of these Motorways is the shortest?
A: M25
B: M26
C: M27'
Trying to sound confident, I called back to him, 'C — the M27!'
On hearing this W smirked and almost dropped his screwdriver, so I imagine I've got this one wrong too. It was only a shot in the dark, as they all seem infinitely long when you're stuck in traffic on them.
As soon as the lights were to W's satisfaction (and you might be surprised by how long that took to achieve) we went indoors to warm up with a mince pie and a mug of hot chocolate with brandy and marshmallows.
Oh, and ants. Obviously.
Hello — we are Polly and Billi the Bees, and this is our Guest Blog!
Yesterday we popped up to IKEA for a few things to brighten up our bedroom. Once we'd chosen some furniture we entered the Market Place area... and we made quite a few impulse purchases!
We bought a couple of glass jars for storing our honey, but then we couldn't resist a can of Swedish Cider for Wilson and some Daim Bars for the children.
What do you think of us in our Viking Warrior and Swedish Maiden headbands? The nice people at IKEA just gave them to us!
We also brought back some free IKEA pencils and tape measures for Wilson because, being a boy, he likes that sort of thing.
If you're stuck for an Xmas present for a loved one (or even someone you don't love but just quite like) remember that Honey and Royal Jelly both make a very welcome gift, and every jar sold benefits bees. 😀🎄
Anyway, we won't be blogging again this year, so we'd like to wish you all a Very Happy Xmas!
We'll see you again in January — until then, BEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD!
The Mayor's secretary has replied to Wilson, thanking him for his offer but explaining they usually use Time Switches to turn the Xmas lights on and off.
Wilson took this news pretty well, considering he'd set his heart on being the Guest Celebrity Uckfield Xmas Lights Turner-On.
He shrugged philosophically and announced that he's had another brilliant and potentially lucrative idea. He intends to develop this while the records are playing on Radio W — time which, he says, would otherwise be wasted.
He sent the Studio Runner (Antony) out for his 'Good Ideas' notebook and a pencil, and Assistant Studio Runner (Tiny Toy) for refreshments.
TT returned with a plate of Empire Biscuits — Wilson had never heard of these before, but after one bite declared them to be 'The Best — almost better than ants!'
Antony has not yet reappeared...
___________
Tomorrow, being the first of the month, it is The Bees turn to blog.
Okay, Radio V has been rebranded. Again. It's now RADIO W.
The bees are in the
studio singing a jingle, overseen by Studio Manager Uncle Z — Wilson was
too scared of being stung not to give him a good job.
While Polly and Billi are singing quite a catchy (if rather Buzzy) background tune, Wilson accompanies them on kazoo and spoons.
Suddenly he breaks
off to intone the station message in a voice as close as he can get to
Morgan Freeman's (which honestly isn't very close):
'🎶🎶 You'll Get Double the Music and Double the Fun with Radio Dubbleyou! 🎶🎶'
In between records he's advertising his range of ODDSIES! socks, and his various Card Games, all of which will allegedly make first-class Xmas Presents.
I have been allowed (albeit a bit grudgingly — the sTone Brothers take their Security duties VERY seriously) into the Radio Vermilingua Studio for the launch party.
Although it's apparently no longer called that — it's now Radio V, because it's easier to say and remember, and uses fewer characters when people Tweet about it.
So far, he's played a lot of Bob Dylan, a lot of Leonard Cohen and his own record, (Don't Make Me Be) This Machine [available on YouTube, if you haven't seen his music video] is on heavy rotation — ie it's every third record he plays.
At the very least, this should provide some competition for Uckfield FM!
