Today we're heading to Pool, in Dorset.
It's a lovely little town on the coast and, although we've been there before, I've got something exciting planned for us – a boat trip round the harbour.
On our way there, though, we passed a Waterstone's Bookshop, and Wilson noticed their logo.
'That Waterstone's logo – it's exactly like my Wilson logo!'
'Oh yes,' I replied, 'so it is!'
'No, New Dad, I mean it's EXACTLY THE SAME as my Wilson logo!'
'Waterstone's is quite an old company,' I pointed out, 'they would have their logo long before you had yours.'
'Ah yes,' he replied, 'but it sows the seed of doubt. When we get back to the hotel I shall Google for a good No-Win No-Fee solicitor…'
'You'll never win though,' I said.
'Maybe not, but Intellectual Property Rights is a VERY grey area – they'll probably give me a load of free books, just to keep me quiet!'
Back in our room at the hotel, Wilson opened the MiniBar fridge for a gin and was very surprised to find Antony and TT inside.
'Hi, guys!' Wilson said, 'What are you doing in there?'
'You put us here,' Antony replied, rather testily, ''to keep us cool during the heatwave.'
'Really? I don't remember. So, are we cool?'
'We're not cool – we're frozen!' TT said.
I thought I could hear his teeth chattering, but of course, anteaters don't have teeth.
Especially plush toy anteaters.
'Anyway,' Wilson continued breezily, 'there's something I've been meaning to ask you – do you know any jokes about helicopters?'
TT thought for a moment, then said, 'As far as I know, there are two helicopter jokes; one is completely stupid, one is too rude for me to repeat, and neither of them is the least bit funny.'
Wilson hurried off to get his iPad to Google the rude joke…
Just before we left the Museum, Wilson decided not to send a postcard to his brother, Byron, in case it made him feel left out.
I told him that I thought it was a very thoughtful decision.
Once we entered the Gift Shop, I began to regret that remark, as W had assumed I would want to reward his 'Very Thoughtfulness' by buying him many expensive souvenirs.
I finally talked him down to a single purchase, but you might be as surprised as I was to learn how much a scale model of Concorde can cost!
Afterwards W went in the playground while I had an iced coffee in the restaurant.
The playground is cleverly designed to look like an aircraft carrier, and W had a great time there.
So great that his cries of, 'Look at me! New Dad: LOOK AT ME!' became a constant soundtrack to my coffee, to the amusement of some of the other diners…
Just before we left, we came across this board with a hole you stick your head through to be photographed – I don't think they've got a real name, but Wilson calls them Peek-a-Boards.
After taking his photo I showed it to him on the back of the camera and asked whether he'd like it printed as a postcard to send to his brother Byron.
He said it might make 'Biro' feel a bit left out, what with us being on holiday and him stuck in the zoo.
I thought that was very kind and considerate of W…
I was quite relieved that our visit to Concorde's Flight Deck passed without incident – the controls looked hugely complex, but I've learned never to underestimate an anteater!
I think Wilson was quite impressed by the plane – as he disembarked he posed for a photograph, having first borrowed a briefcase from another visitor so he would look like he'd travelled Business Class!
'Make sure that picture comes out well, New Dad,' he admonished me, 'Cos it's going on the Fan Club page and on my CV*!'
___________
*Resumé
