Wilson is extremely excited about his forthcoming engagement at the Uckfield Empire Theatre!
'Mister Juicy and me, we're going places!' he told me enthusiastically, 'We'll be the new Morecambe and Wise, or maybe the Millennial Chuckle Brothers!'
He was in the dining room rehearsing his act with Mr Juicy and Byron when the postman called.
'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'that will be my Contract!' but in fact it was another Agony Uncle letter bringing a poignant new moral conundrum soliciting Wilson's perceptive yet sympathetic advice.
The letter reads:
❝Dear Uncle Wilson
Several months ago our cherished Uncle Zoltan disappeared without a trace. We all miss him terribly but don't know how to proceed. We have made many public appeals and circulated his photograph, but without success.
Would you advise that we engage a Professional Consulting Detective? Or a Psychic Medium?
Yours very sincerely,
Two Heartbroken Bees❞
W frowned and regarded the missive for a moment, before remarking, 'Uncle Zoltan, eh? I shall have to give this some serious consideration. If I reply too honestly I'm liable to cause grave offence, so I need to respond with a measure of tact. Oh, and feigned compassion!'
Wilson is getting extremely excited
To see his performance, you'll all be invited
_________________________________
Wilson's Theatrical Agent, Antony, has negotiated a Gig for W! He is to perform his Ventriloquism Act at the old Uckfield Empire Theatre!
I thought the Empire had been pulled down years ago, but apparently not, as they've just sent round a copy of their promo poster for his approval — perhaps Fame and Riches have finally come knocking at Wilson's door!
I must say, this is very exciting for everyone – especially, of course, Wilson and Mr Juicy!
Wilson keeps walking round in a stunned daze, repeating, 'I've snagged a Gig, New Dad! Richness and Famousness shall be Mine!'
Mr Juicy, on the other hand, has been rendered temporarily speechless.
I hope success doesn't turn W into a Luvvie...
When we got home from the Fireworks Display it was WELL past the boys' bedtime – but they pleaded to stay up a bit longer as they had 'Important Matters' to discuss and plans to make.
I didn't see any harm in letting them stay up a little longer, so after we'd all had a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and ants I went to bed and left them to it – whatever 'it' was.
This morning, I found them like this, sleeping soundly (if uncomfortably) on the floor in the kitchen. I covered them with blankets and left them to sleep.
Judging by the notes they've made, I fear they may be planning to open a Motor Museum...
In the past we've sometimes bought our own fireworks and let them off in the back garden, but with Byron staying with us (and me being In Loco Parentis to him) I'm unwilling to accept the extra responsibility of TWO boisterous young anteaters running round in the dark with matches and explosives.
For the same reason I put my foot down about going to Lewes for their bonfire celebrations. They may be the biggest and oldest in the country, but there are always huge and boisterous crowds there, which isn't very anteater-friendly.
In any case there's no way of getting to Lewes: the Police have insisted on the railway stations and car parks all being closed for the occasion in case the crowds grow too massive and get out-of-hand!
Consequently, last night we went to an organised display in the village, which was outstanding.
Everyone is obviously very excited about Firework Night tonight, so to help pass the time until nightfall I took the boys to the excellent Bentley Wildlife and Motor Museum not far from here.
Living as he does in a zoo, Byron wasn't much interested in the animals, but was fascinated by the display of vintage cars.
Wilson liked them too, although I thought he had an introspective and preoccupied air about him... and he kept making notes about the displays.
As we drove home, there was even more whispering and giggling than usual coming from the back of the car – but I expect I'm just being paranoid...
