BUBBLES

This morning Wilson explained why he chose a picture of a polar bear on an ice floe for Pterry to colour in yesterday: it was so all his 'best crayons' wouldn't get used up!

Following another rummage in the dressing-up box, Wilson is proud to present: Bubbles (AKA A Child's World) the classic 1886 painting by Sir John Everett Millais.

Millais was a serious painter of great repute, but Bubbles is best known for having been used to advertise soap.

The child in the original painting is William Milbourne James, who grew up to become an Admiral in the Royal Navy – but was known as Bubbles for the rest of his life!

I fear if lockdown lasts much longer you'll have a lot more of these Classics Revisited to look forward to…

Please don't forget to bring some cheer(?) into your friends' lives by sharing this link with them: https://antwars2.blogspot.com/

HOUSE ARREST

For a dinosaur, Pterry seems excessively timid. 

Fearful.

Faint-hearted even. 

He doesn't like to go out, but strangely he's now started to resent the fact that he CAN'T go out – he says it's like living under house arrest.

In an attempt to distract him from this situation, Wilson has brought out his crayons and downloaded a picture for Pterry to colour in – although I do question W's choice of picture: a Polar Bear on an Ice Floe. 

In one sense – being a white animal on a white background – it's already coloured in; moreover, there's not even a white crayon in the box so Pterry could pretend to colour it in…
_____

If YOU feel like you're under house arrest, chances are your friends will be too! Why not send this link to at least one of your friends today:
https://antwars2.blogspot.com/
It might cheer them up, and even if it doesn't they've nothing better to do – and it would make Wilson very happy!

ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE – SUNNY SIDE UP

After the recent attempt on Uncle Zoltan's life, I have had a stern talk with Wilson and he has agreed that in future he will temper his artistic endeavours where Uncle Z is concerned.

Even the sTone Brothers – who live in the garden 24/7 and never go out anyway – claim to be going stir-crazy, so things are clearly getting serious.

To cheer them up, Wilson has awarded them Artist In Residence status at the Vermilingua Contemporary Gallery, and they've come up with this original piece all on their own – although they needed some help in blowing up the balloon, obviously.

Wilson describes the completed piece as 'Politically naïve but clearly pushing the epistemological parameters of art as a construct of reality' which can't be bad!

Personally, I think it's funny and cheerful –

exactly what we need in these weird and worrying times!

WILSON AND THE AMAZING BIG SUIT – A MUSICAL

Wilson is trying to put the recent unpleasantness with Uncle Zoltan behind him by throwing himself into a new Musical Theatre project.

Despite considerable evidence to the contrary, he still believes he's got a major musical in him, and is basing this new work on his latest musical hero, David Byrne.

He's in the middle of re-writing the Talking Heads classic Life During Wartime by changing the words to Life During Lockdown but leaving it otherwise substantially unchanged.

He says that Wilson And The Amazing Big Coat will be the 'Ideal musical for the Year of the Virus' as it's filled with catchy feel-good songs – although none of them have actually been written yet.

I hope he never attempts a rework of GodSpell – I once had to walk out of a theatre performance of the original and I really don't think I could handle FlyingSpaghettiMonsterSpell…

ONE THOUSAND YEARS

As Cabin Fever starts to kick in, I've suggested to Wilson that he might try to involve the family in some kind of artistic activity to distract them from lockdown.

After a moment's thought, he said he would find positions for everyone in his Virtual Vermilingua Contemporary Gallery – starting with Uncle Zoltan.

He is going to ask Uncle Z to help him recreate Damian Hirst's 1000 years installation piece.

I was pleased to see W attempting a rapprochement with the truculent hornet as their relationship in the past has always been a difficult and hostile one.

Only later did I begin to wonder why Wilson had immediately chosen irascible and belligerent Uncle Z for his first project…

After only a few moments research I learned that the original 1000 Years consists of a glass tank, live flies and an Insect-o-Cutor machine!

I rushed into the kitchen to tell Wilson to cease work on this immediately!

He was reluctant to stop at such an advanced stage of construction, until I asked him how he proposed to explain Uncle Zoltan's untimely death to his nieces Polly and Billi…

TALKING ANTS

Wilson has been doing some extensive research into the band Talking Heads and has learned two things:

1) he really fancies the bass player – the lovely Tina Weymouth,
and
2) he thinks the Stop Making Sense-era Big Suit worn by David Byrne is the most wonderful garment he's seen since Leonard Cohen's Fedora.

He was so taken by it that he asked Polly if she could run him up something similar on her little sewing machine – and here is the result!

He's been strutting round the house in it all day, complaining that he can't go out and show it off to Uckfield because of the lockdown.

He insists that he's going to start his own band called Talking Ants – it's a nice idea, but I wonder whether its time might have passed in the intervening 30-odd years since Talking Heads disbanded?

NEW ACQUISITION – DAN FLAVIN

Once again Wilson is trying to maintain the Cultural Life of Uckfield without putting you at risk from Covid-19 by having me take a photo of his latest acquisition.

Wilson was almost beside himself with excitement as he helped me carry my camera and tripod to the Vermilingua Contemporary Gallery.

'It's a Dan Flavin!' he told me breathlessly, 'You're going to love it! I mean really LOVE it!'

I'm quite familiar with Wilson expecting me to love something about which I'm actually quite indifferent, but I tried to keep an open mind, and after handing over my admission fee I entered the gallery space where the first thing I saw was a fluorescent light fitting leaning against the wall.

'That's nice!' I remarked, 'You're putting in some new lighting – it looks a lot brighter now which means it will be easier to take this photo! Now, where is this famous Dan Flavin work?'

To give him his due, Wilson did look a bit embarrassed as he explained, 'This is it – you're looking at it.'

'It's a fluorescent light!' I said.

'No flies on you, New Dad!' he replied, adding, 'Fluorescent Lights were Dan Flavin's Medium – his Palette, if you will. This piece is "The Diagonal of May 25, 1963"'

'Just out of curiosity,' I asked, 'where did you get it from?'

'City Electrical Factors in the village,' he replied, 'They assured me that Mr Flavin – or Dan as they know him – is always in and out buying lights just like this!'