TEST FLIGHT

As Storm Alex sweeps over the UK it's been cold, windy and very wet, so when the clouds parted and the rain briefly stopped Nërp quickly took advantage of the break in the weather.

He summoned everyone into the garden to witness the maiden flight of his Life-Changing Invention – the personal jet pack.

 

I'm pretty certain I've seen quite a lot on the News recently about jet packs being used by paramedics, but that doesn't in any way diminish Nërp's achievement in having developed and built his own device in just a few days – it really is a major accomplishment!

 

The launch is very exciting and extremely noisy – I just wish the children would stand a bit further back just in case anything untoward happens – I'm very pleased to see the Bees are in attendance in their nurses' outfits just in case…

 

 

#CHANGE+CHECK

Wilson was watching Lorraine on TV yesterday – @lorraine – and there was a big discussion about Breast Screening. 

It appears that because of the pandemic, people are unwilling to visit screening centres – sometimes even missing appointments without phoning to cancel!

He had a word with Polly and Billi and they all agreed that they should try to support the campaign for Breast Screening in any way they could. 

 

Philip and Holly on This Morning suggested people post pictures – Boobograms – of themselves holding two things in front of themselves and 'Jiggling them up and down' which is what Wilson is doing here…

 

BEES' BLOG: EAT MORE FRUIT

Hello, we are Polly and Billi the Bees, and this is our once-a-month Guest Blog!

We love cooking (you probably remember our special recipe for Honey On Toast) and like that nice Jamie Oliver we are very keen on healthy eating.

 

But eating healthily shouldn't be a chore – it should be fun, and what could possibly be more fun than Popsicles?

 

However, popsicles are usually full of sugar, colourants and e-numbers, so we have developed our own special recipe!

 

Take a slice of tomato, impale it on a lolly stick and voilà: you have a TomatoPop!

 

Here's another easy, fun recipe – take a segment of orange or satsuma, fix it to a lolly stick and you have a delicious OrangePop (or possibly, a SatsumaPop)!

 

They're quick, they're easy and they're delicious – children just love them!

 

You can adapt this recipe to make CucumberPops, GrapePops, GrapefruitPops, PineappleChunkPops – with a bit of practice you might even be able to make LettucePops, although they're quite tricky to stick on the stick.

 

By a happy coincidence, today is also International Coffee Day, so you can enjoy a lovely latte while you make your Pops!

 

So, we've been The Bees and we'll see you again next month – until then, BEEEEEEEEEE A HEALTHY EATER!

 

 

BAKING DAY

Wilson and Byron are in the kitchen baking Arnold's Park Termite Snack Bars, to fill the orders they confidently expect to pour in following the recent advertising campaign.

Normally Nërp would be assisting too, but he is apparently 'Too busy' making final adjustments to his latest 'life-changing' invention.

 

Life-changing? Hmmm – maybe it's not pottery after all…

 

Anyway, Byron is baking for all he's worth, while Wilson is making an urgent phone call to his cardboard-box supplier, asking them to hurry up with his next delivery as he's running out of cartons to pack his snack bars.

 

If he actually runs out, I expect he and Byron will just eat the leftovers…

 

 

NËRP MAKES PROGRESS

Nërp has allowed Jīqìrén into his workshop for what he has described as a 'test firing' – perhaps he's making pottery?

No-one else has been allowed to know what's going on in there, but there is a sort of loud Whoooooshing noise (probably the kiln) and a bit of shouting.

 

I expect one of the pots has cracked during the firing…

 

 

SNACKVERTISING

Huge billboards and hoardings advertising Wilson's and Arnold's* new snack bars have started to appear in nearby towns.
 
Wilson assures me that the advertising, although expensive, will be paid for out of the profits… once the bars have actually been produced.
 
I hope he's right because in the meantime I have no doubt that it's being paid for by my Visa Card.
 
Sometimes I regret ever giving W access to my account details…
—
*Visit Arnold here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCjOIfNBC74/
or search for: the.gourmet.anteater

UCKYWOOD

Nërp has been busy in his workshop making something which he says will 'Really put Uckfield on the map, tourism-wise!'

Eager to show off the fruits of his labours he took everyone out into the garden to present the set of enormous letters he's built. 

 

It's certainly… big, and he's made a good job of it, but I'm not altogether sure that tourism is something we should be encouraging in the middle of a pandemic.

 

Even Andrew the Turbulent Seagull showed up to take a look – he said it was 'CAAAWWWLLL!' and possibly to show his approval tagged one of the letters with a generous streak of guano.

 

Wilson too is enthusiastic and says that as soon as lockdown eases we'll go out in the car in search of a hill overlooking the village to erect it on. 

 

I don't know how far we'll have to go for that as it's not very hilly round here – I really hope the sign doesn't end up on our roof…

 

Once we had all admired Nërp's handiwork he returned to his workshop because he is working on something 'Spectacular!'

 

I don't want to even think about that…