This morning Wilson asked to be driven into the village, so he could show me his Antsy Malone poster in situ.
I have to admit it looks very fine, but when I asked how much it costs to have a poster displayed in a Bus Shelter, he was strangely evasive.
I'm guessing that either I'll find out the cost when my VISA bill arrives, or the people responsible for Bus Shelter advertising are blissfully unaware that it's there...
Dave the Pig is VERY excited — he has been cast as Reporter No. 2 in Antsy Malone — The Musical!
While Reporter No. 2 isn't a major character, it IS a speaking part!
Also, Billi has asked Wilson to knit some tiny football jumpers for her team.
I'd be very surprised if his knitting skills are up to that, and in any case he's devoting every waking minute to writing the libretto for Antsy Malone – The Musical.
Moreover, he is deeply sceptical of Bee Football even being A Thing, believing it to be something Billi hallucinated...
AKA 'Beer Bottles for Goalposts'!
Since seeing that programme on tv about scientists teaching bees to play football, Billi has been trying to form a team.
Fearing that she'll get covered in mud, Polly wasn't very keen at first — but was eventually cajoled into giving it a try.
They're in the garden now having a kick-about with the children, using a (worryingly ripe) cherry tomato as their ball.
There was a brief argument between the Johnson Brothers as to which of them would be Lionel Messi, but it was settled fairly amicably by a Penalty Shootout.
While many people are confused by the off-side rule, Polly is baffled by much more basic aspects of the Beautiful Game: which way to kick the ball, for example, and why she can use only her rear tarsi for kicking.
Billi can't decide whether to name the team Queen Bees of the South or Queen Bee's Park Rangers... or, since they play in a black-and-yellow strip, possibly Beerussia Dortmund.
Here, in the nick of time, is the latest page of your free Calendar Part-work: MAY!
To save you time, Wilson has indicated all the important(!) dates that fall in the coming month.
Now that the 2017 Formula One season has started, the calendar photo shows W getting in some Practice Laps in preparation for the Sochi race.
That's to say, preparation for WATCHING the Sochi race — he is determined to be in the the Pole Position armchair, because it has the best view of the TV!
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Wilson says that there will soon be a special free gift exclusively for members of The Wilson Vermilingua Appreciation Society and the Mailing List.
To avoid any unnecessary disappointment, I wouldn't get too excited...
Watching The One Show on tv last week, there was a story about scientists at Queen Mary, University of London's School of Biological and Chemical Sciences having taught bumble bees to play football!
When Billi told everyone about it, no-one believed her — but I've done some research and it really is true!
Apparently the scientists taught just one bumble bee how to play, and that bee taught the whole colony!
They've probably got their own League by now, and Sky Sports will be bidding for the exclusive TV rights...
Wilson took some time out from his busy schedule writing 'Antsy Malone – The Musical' this morning to watch the London Marathon.
His friend Ms Jenny (who you may remember is Colin the Camel's New Mum) is taking part, and he hoped to catch a glimpse of her.
Ever since his ill-fated application to be a Torch Carrier at the London Olympics, W has often talked about running a marathon or half-marathon himself – I think this is unlikely, as even watching the event on TV required several cans of Energy Drink to stop him dozing off.
When he did catch sight of Ms Jenny he was so surprised that he knocked his energy drink off the armchair... onto the head of an unsuspecting Antony, sitting on the floor minding his own business.
Such, I suppose, are the perils of extreme sports...
#getinspired
