08/12/2018

AN ANTEATER IS FOR LIFE

Uncle Z has now switched to playing Dylan's strangely wavering rendition of I'll Be Home For Xmas (it sounds as though it's being sung by someone who has never heard the tune and is making it up as he goes along) on Continuous Repeat.

Wilson has escaped the racket by going out with 'Biro' to stick up some Xmas Posters.


Xmas at the zoo is a very low-key affair, so for Byron everything is new and magical – Wilson has even had to explain Father Xmas [Santa Claus] to him…



07/12/2018

MEDICAL EMERGENCY

Byron, while chatting to the sTone Brothers in the garden, heard a terrible asthmatic wheezing noise coming from the bee hive.

He rushed inside to fetch Wilson who, on investigation, found it was Uncle Zoltan – not, as the evidence suggested, having a terminal asthma attack but playing Bob Dylan's Here Comes Santa Claus on his BoomBox.


Shouting to be heard over the din, W asked him what he was doing, and Uncle Z replied that he was 'Getting into the Xmas Spirit' by playing this track. 


Very Loudly. 


On Continuous Repeat. 


'Because I know it's your favourite, Dear Boy!'


Wilson, who (as Uncle Z well knows) hates this song above any other, pointed out that so-called 'Music Torture' had been outlawed by The United Nations, the European Court of Human Rights, and possibly the Geneva Convention


Uncle Zoltan has an uncanny ability to press Wilson's buttons. 


As W later remarked wryly, Uncle Z is going to LOVE his Xmas present…




05/12/2018

XMAS CARDS FROM THE FAMILY

Byron has just given Wilson a load of Xmas Cards from his family at the Zoo.

In keeping with tradition, they are all identical as Wilson's Mum, Mrs V, tries to discourage arguments among her ever-growing family about who's got the 'best' Xmas card.


Also, to be fair, there's not a lot of choice at the Zoo Gift And Souvenir Shop.


Many of the cards are from people Wilson has never heard of, and Byron has had to explain about his many new 'Uncles' and siblings…



03/12/2018

ADVENT CALENDAR

Once Wilson had arrived home with Byron, although it was already quite late, they retired to the Library together to have a catch-up.

Wilson then got out his Advent Calendar, and between them they opened the first door.


When I was a child, Advent Calendars didn't even have chocolate inside – just a picture of, say, a star, a shepherd or an angel etc, building up to a crescendo of excitement and anticipation on Xmas Eve when you'd open the final, double door, to reveal a picture of Baby Jesus in a manger!


They were simple days.


Wilson's Advent Calendar, however, has little bottles of Gin behind each door!


Really, whatever will they think of next?



02/12/2018

WILSON AND THE NIGHT VISITOR*

Once Wilson had phoned Byron at the zoo, neither of them could wait for the visit to begin, so B jumped on the first train to Uckfield.

Wilson waited anxiously on the platform for the train to arrive, and eventually it pulled into the station and 'Biro' emerged from a First Class carriage, suitcase in paw.


After a brief hug they fist-bumped (well, paw-bumped, really) each other, then began some complicated paw-slapping routine while they both chanted:

Wilson! Wilson! Bo-bil-son
Bo-na-na fanna, fo-fil-son
Fee fi mo-mil-son,
Wilson!
Biro! Biro! Bo-bir-ro,
Bo-na-na fanna, fo-fi-ro,
Fee fi mo-mir-ro,
Biro!

When their initial greeting was finally completed, they climbed into the car together to be driven home.
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*Older readers might get this reference…