Ant Music

Wilson has rush-released his Adam Ant Tribute Album - he says he will use the profits to fund stabling, tack, feed, vet fees etc for Diesel the pony. 

I'm going to have to grasp the nettle and tell him he can't have a pony. Riding lessons maybe, but actually owning a horse is out of the question. 

On the bright side, though, that's another of W's New Year Resolutions ticked off. 

Wilson prepares for fame and fortune...

Wilson is, as he puts it, "well up" for a Studio Tour. However, I fear he might have read between the lines. When he visited Buckingham Palace he thought he was going to meet the Queen and be Knighted; now I think he might be expecting to be 'discovered' and made a film star. 

He even wants to have his pony before we go, so he can ride it round the studio in his 'outlaw duds'. I shall have to have a word with him before we go.

Wilson chooses his pet

I have a sense of foreboding as Wilson brings me a double espresso and the last slice of Xmas cake, sits me down and tells me he's decided what pet he wants. He wants a pony. 

Before I can say a word, he promises that he'll groom it, feed it, clean up after it and not let it put its hooves on the furniture. 

I fear this last means he thinks it would be living indoors with us. He's going to call it Diesel.

The Producers

Very nice letter from the producers of 'Moon', expressing their sorrow and deep concern for Wilson's suffering. 

They don't mention any cash compensation, but suggest that he might like to visit the studios as their guest. "Perhaps a look behind the scenes" they say, "would help Wilson appreciate the fantasy nature of film production, and help him see that the story was not 'real'.

We have struck a bargain!

Wilson and I were both sorry to see Becky leave Weatherfield in last night's Coronation Street. He said she was a lot like most of his half-sisters: pretty, irresponsible and promiscuous - she would have been "an ideal anteater!"

I can't see what harm could result in Wilson having a pet, so I tell him Yes. We have a bargain: he stops using the VISA card and I buy him a pet. The responsibility of caring for it will probably be good for him.

A walk in the woods?

Remembering the psychiatrist's advice that Wilson should "behave more like an anteater" and that we should "go out together" and "take more exercise", I suggested that we go for a nice walk in the woods; perhaps we could investigate some rotting logs for insects. 

W declined, saying that he was expecting a call from The Leveson Inquiry on Media Ethics. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning sort of way, and he explained that since Hugh Grant and Ian Hislop, even Ann Diamond and Charlotte Church, had already appeared it wouldn't be long before they called him...

Wilson considers legal action

Wilson thinks he should sue the producers of 'Moon' for damages in respect of his suffering and his ensuing medical treatment. I tell him that I'll write the letter, as I think he's too upset to do it at the moment. 

In the letter, I shall point out that W was very badly affected by the story, but I won't mention any legal action at this point; I'll just see what their response is.