COLD FEET

Today Byron had intended to take a photo of me as part of his new work.

I had initially agreed to this, and even got as far as writing down my thoughts on a big sheet of cardboard, but then I copped out.

 

On reflection I decided it might be better all round if everyone DIDN'T know what I'm *really* thinking at the moment – I'm not certain Wilson could handle it.

 

In typical upbeat fashion, Byron decided that rather than cut his series short he would exhibit a blank sheet of film – annotated as though it were not blank – as an inscrutable part of the series. 

 

Actually, I rather like it, and Byron later told me he thought it was the 'most exciting' photo of the series so far!

 

Wilson criticised it as a 'waste of film', but nevertheless asked Byron whether he'd consider exhibiting the completed work in the Uckfield Contemporary Gallery if and when it ever reopens.

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Today's Optimistic October Calendar entry exhorts us to: Take time to reflect on what you have achieved this week.

Well, that won't take me long… 🤔 ☹️

 

 

PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG ANTEATER

Today, with Wilson's help, Byron has shot a self-portrait for his photographic series.

His statement – enigmatic and mysterious – is no less than I would have expected of an avant-garde Artist such as himself!

 

Tomorrow it's my turn to have my thoughts captured for posterity…

 

Something for you to look forward to… or not!

 

 

HOMAGE TO GILLIAN WEARING Nº 2

Nërp is feeling sufficiently recovered to participate in Byron's Art Project.

He has written down what he is thinking about and Byron has taken his photo.

 

Having just read what he's thinking, do you think I should be worried?

 

I'm consoling myself that, like Donald Trump, he's still high on medication from the hospital – but at least Nërp doesn't have access to a Big Red Button…

 

As soon as Byron had checked and approved his photo, Nërp headed off to his workshop… but not before I'd made him promise not to invent anything dangerous.

 

 

GILLIAN WEARING – ARTIST

Byron has spent much of his time in lockdown reading Art History books and watching SKY Arts on tv, and he has become enthralled by the work of Gillian Wearing.

He is specially taken by Wearing's famous series 'Signs that say what you want them to say and not Signs that say what someone else wants you to say (1992/1993)' – an opus consisting of a number of photographs: the artist would approach a stranger in the street, give them a sheet of paper, ask them to write down what they were thinking about, and photograph them holding the result.

 

According to Byron, Wearing enjoyed this because it challenged her perception of her subjects – and he would like to recreate her work so as to challenge his own perceptions.

 

Since I have repeatedly warned him against speaking to strangers, (and also because he's quite shy) he plans to recreate Wearing's process using members of the family starting (unsurprisingly) with Wilson – who agreed to lend his Polaroid to Byron only on condition that he could go first!

 

I think I could have predicted what Wilson was thinking about – I don't imagine Byron's perception of him will have been greatly challenged!

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Today's Optimistic October Calendar entry exhorts us to: Remember that things can change for the better…

 

 

OPTIMISTIC OCTOBER

I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that Nërp is making a good recovery – last night one of his friends suggested giving him a glass of 3-in-1 Oil, and he perked up after that.

I'm obviously delighted that Nërp is on the mend, but I will confess to having felt a bit down recently.

 

Perhaps sensing this, Byron has presented me with an Optimistic October Calendar, pinning it on the notice board so I will see it every day!

 

I hope I won't be breaching copyright if I pass on any helpful suggestions day by day – today's tip is: 'Do something constructive to improve a difficult situation'…

Hmmm 🤔

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You can download your own Optimistic October Calendar here: https://www.actionforhappiness.org/calendars 

 

 

CONVALESCENCE

Nërp has been discharged from hospital and the living room has been transformed into a sick-room while he regains his strength.

He is being nursed by Polly and Billi the bees, while Wilson tries to cheer him up by playing his entire collection of Peter Dawson 78rpm records – he doesn't have that many, and some of them are being played for the fourth or fifth time.

 

I can't tell whether or not Nërp is enjoying the music, but it's beginning to grate on my nerves a bit.

 

Jīqìrén is plying him with freshly-baked Arnold's Park Fresh Termite Snack Bars left over from the big bake a few days ago.

 

The jet-pack engine has been decommissioned and converted into a flower vase, just so that Nërp doesn't get any ideas…

 

 

AFTERMATH

Nërp's maiden flight was brief but eventful!

Following his thrilling and dramatic landing, Nërp has been taken to the Village Hospital, where he is in ICU on an IV drip of WD40 while receiving light pain relief.

 

It's not clear to me whether Nërp's treatment is covered by the NHS, but if it's not, I'm hoping our Green Flag car insurance policy might cover him…

 

Only immediate relatives are allowed to visit, so Jīqìrén went to see how he is doing – she reported back that he was 'Making a great big fuss… and planning his next invention.'