POSTER RUN

Now it's official: Museums and Art Galleries in the UK can re-open on 4 July!

 

Wilson has lost a lot of money while his gallery – The Vermilingua Contemporary – has been closed, so he's wasting no time in advertising its re-opening.

 

He is certain that an Art Starved Public is 'desperate' to see something cultural, and he doesn't want to let them down… or miss out on any admission money!

 

From what I can tell, the public is far more desperate to crowd on to the beach, spread C-19 and cause a second spike of infection, but I hope I'm wrong…

 

The pressure is now really on Byron to paint faster so his Retrospective Show will be ready to go by Reopening Day…

 

 

PACKAGE FROM A PEN PAL

First it's Tiny Toy getting mysterious packets in the mail, now it's Wilson – I never get anything mysterious or exciting – only bills!

 

Today's delivery has caused some excitement, being a packet of Live Termites from Wilson's American pen-pal Arnold!

 

I regarded the package suspiciously as termites began to climb out and crawl over the kitchen table.

 

'If they're American termites' I asked, 'they haven't been… well, you know… Chlorine Washed have they?'

 

'Oh no!' both boys assured me in unison, 'They're Free-Range, straight from the Park. Look, they even arrived with their own little rotten log to live in!'

 

Wilson continued, 'We're going to take these round to Everything Ant in the village, get a marketing deal and start a Termite Import/Export Business with Arnold! we're going to call them "Park Termites"'

 

'Here, Try one – they're delicious' Byron said, holding a struggling termite out to me.

 

'I think you should get them round to Everything Ant straight away,' I remarked, declining the proffered insect, 'before you've eaten them all…'

 

You can meet Wilson's multitalented friend Arnold and his family on Instagram: the.gourmet.anteater

 

MYSTERIOUS ACTIVITY

TT has received a parcel in the post!

TT is Wilson's plush toy's plush toy so unsurprisingly he doesn't receive much* mail, and he's being very secretive about whatever is in today's little package.

Now he and Antony are in the workshop with Nërp building something secret, and I'm not allowed inside.

Nërp has even posted his niece Jīqìrén outside to deter the curious, and she's got her plush robot with her for backup – I think she'd kill to protect that toy, so I shall not be approaching…

Honestly, it's bad enough when Wilson keeps things from me, but now even his plush toys are doing it I feel a bit out of the loop…

—

*Any, ever!

SOCIAL DISTANCING

For good or ill, government advice on social distancing has changed from 2m to 1m.

 

I know exactly what you're thinking – you are thinking: 'But that will render my 2m Social Distancing Device obsolete! Grrrrr – I curse that anteater and his mad ideas!'

 

Fear not, though – Wilson has announced a special Conversion Kit which will adapt your device (AKA Wilson's Whacker) to conform to the new regulations.

 

The conversion kit comprises a handsaw to cut down the original 2m pole, and a tape measure so you can measure how much to cut off, and can be ordered from the usual address…

 

 

GALLERY REOPENING

Nërp has now vacated his workshop – wearing an inscrutable expression – and Byron has resumed work inside. 

 

Wilson is proceeding on the assumption that he will be permitted to reopen the Vermilingua Contemporary Gallery on 4 July.

 

I don't think that date has been mentioned by the government yet, but all the news media are pretty confident of an imminent announcement.

 

While Byron paints for all he's worth, Wilson is preparing the gallery to reopen under the new Social Distancing Rules: Paw Sanitising Gel, one-way system and, most onerous of all, only one visitor in the gallery at a time!

 

W fears takings may be seriously affected. ☹️

 

The Gallery Reopening has put even more pressure on Byron to have enough paintings ready for his Retrospective Exhibition.

 

I thought artists usually mounted retrospectives towards the end of a long and successful career, but young Byron has only been painting for a couple of weeks so he's really working against the clock!

 

 

SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM

Nërp is busy in his workshop and says he must not be disturbed.

 

He is allegedly making some delicate adjustments to the space-time continuum – before locking himself in he explained to Byron that Planck's Constant needed to be tweaked to avoid a Wormhole appearing in the back garden and swallowing everything up.

 

Or was it a Black Hole? Byron can't remember for sure, but does clearly remember that 'It sounded horrible!'

 

It's very quiet in there, so I suspect Nërp is just dozing, or drinking… maybe playing Patience [Solitaire].

 

Or maybe he just wants some 'Me Time' to relax on his own.

 

Whatever, he's even stopped Byron from working on his paintings and made him wait outside!

 

Wilson went round to remonstrate with his brother, perhaps persuade him to paint Plein Air, but B said he 'couldn't contact his muse' while there was any danger of holes in the garden, whether Worm- or Black-.

 

Wilson banged on the workshop door for some time, but Nërp's only response was total silence.

 

There isn't a Tinder for robots is there?

 

 

FATHERS DAY

I was quite taken aback when Wilson and Byron gave me this card this morning, because I'd forgotten today was Fathers' Day!

 

The card was jointly from both of them because I am apparently 'Difficult to buy for' and they'd both signed it with a nice message.

 

I have never officially adopted Byron, but it's lovely to learn that he accepts me as a member of his family…