Hello, we are Polly and Billi The Bees, and this is our Guest Blog!
Our elderly relative, Uncle Zoltan, is always very difficult to buy gifts for at Xmas – usually we give everyone a bottle of Royal Jelly and a jar of Honey, but Uncle Z always complains, whatever we give him.
Yesterday, though, Wilson showed us this cutting from New Scientist magazine, and it's given us a brilliant idea!
Wilson is going to help us using Amazon (he's very good at that, because he gets so much practice) and we'll order up a surprise for Uncle Z that he's sure to love!
We know he'll love it, because he loves to annoy people, and we think this gift could be well annoying, especially at night!
Anyway, we've been The Bees and we'll see you again next month.
Until then, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD, and have a Fantastic Winter Solstice, Xmas or whatever!
After about an hour of heavy snoring, Wilson stirred.
'Is it Xmas Eve yet?' he asked, testily.
'Not quite,' I replied, but as he reached for the gin bottle I continued, 'How would you like your brother Byron to come over for Xmas?'
W immediately brightened, asking, 'Could he stay for Xmas Day, and have Father Xmas bring him presents and everything?'
I nodded.
'That,' he replied, 'would be totes Ace – can I phone him now and invite him?'
I think hibernation has been successfully deferred for another year…
There may be only about 27 Sleeps 'til Xmas, but for a Frequent Napper like Wilson that equates to about 108 sleeps – which is a long time if you're a young anteater eagerly anticipating the Big Day!
Consequently, it's usually around this time of year he starts to think about hibernating, so that he can wake up, refreshed, on Xmas Eve.
Hibernation is not a natural activity for anteaters, so W's attempts usually involve prodigious amounts of Gin, followed by a crippling hangover the following day.
A hungover Wilson is not nice to be around, so I am anxious to distract him before he goes too far down this road.
This year, I think I have the perfect solution…
While Nërp is recharging his batteries (both literally and figuratively) after his recent sojourn at the railway station, Wilson has popped back to where he posted Nerp's posters to add a couple more of his own…
As he left, he told me that disposing of Xmas Trees is a major contributor to Global Warming [actually, it's not] and in any case everyone hates taking the decorations off in January, so his Xmas Tree Hire business was a Dead Cert to make him both rich and famous.
But mostly, rich.
'After all,' he explained, 'why buy when you can hire? The tree will come already decorated, and after Xmas, before twelfth night, I'll collect it and take it away!'
Actually, I have to admit that sounds like a pretty good service.
I enquired how he intended to finance the initial purchase of his xmas trees and decorations, and where he proposed storing them for the eleven months they weren't in use, but he brushed my objections aside.
As usual…
Nërp has designed a Logotype for himself.
It's a very good logo, and I know Wilson agrees because he's quite put out that he didn't think of something similar for himself…
However, Nërp still thinks his profile is insufficiently high, so W has printed some promo posters, pop-star style, and they're out sticking them up now.
I don't approve of fly-posting, but I'm relying on Nërp – sorry, I mean The N-Man – to keep Wilson out of trouble…
