A DELICATE DELIVERY

Early this morning an enormous pantechnicon arrived to deliver a packing crate larger than I have ever seen before!

At first I feared, now the house is full of cardboard boxes containing the displaced exhibits from his Museum, Wilson was going to ask me to move into the crate and live there, but I was relieved to learn that the van

will return tomorrow to collect it and refund W's deposit.

Nërp removed one of the crate's end panels and we all trooped in to see what had been delivered – once the protective wrapping had been stripped away, several beautiful and expensive-looking glass display cases stood revealed.

'Vitrines!' Wilson exclaimed, 'They're called Vitrines – aren't they fab?'

'Were they very, um, expensive?' I enquired – Wilson replied that they were worth every penny.

Honestly, it's not the pennies I'm worried about, so much as the pounds – I expect I shall find out exactly how worried I should be once my VISA bill arrives…

SIGNWRITING FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Wilson is putting the finishing touches to the exterior by painting the name of the Gallery on the side wall.

He seems very skilled in the art of lettering, but I have absolutely prohibited him from painting the name of his gallery anywhere on the car. I might be persuaded to allow a small window or bumper sticker, but absolutely nothing more!

When he opened his Museum he had a big Opening Ceremony, with speeches and Uncle Zoltan on the roof performing interminable drum solos – I hope we're not going to have to go through all that again.

A BIG CLUE

At last, I think I know what's going on!

I asked Wilson directly, and he confirmed that he was indeed opening a gallery of contemporary art.

He confided that he was initially going to call it the Wilson Contemporary, but feared that its initials – W.C. – might cause a measure of unwelcome mirth… and moreover, as it was mostly Byron's idea he thought that maybe he should share the credit by using a name that included them both.